


The Story of Us

by littlebearemily



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alice and Frank just want peace, Being Rewritten, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, James and Lily are hopeless, Marauders' Era, Marlene is here for the entertainment, Remus is the only voice of reason, Sirius is sassy AF, Slow Burn, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-05 01:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11003385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebearemily/pseuds/littlebearemily
Summary: The story of how James won Lily's heart by giving up on winning it in the first place.





	1. Reality Sets In

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!
> 
> This fic may seem familiar to some of you because I first posted it about a year ago. I reread it and I decided it needed some major improvement so here it is again! Many of the first few chapters will roughly be the same as before if you happened to read it before I took down the original. School really got the best of me in the past year and a half where it prevented me from writing. I was inspired to take this over once again and I'm determined to finish what I started. I hope to update more often as I'm on break from school right now. Like before, I only plan on it being James and Lily's POV but it can and possibly will change. The story will definitely change as it evolves and when I'm inspired. I hope you all enjoy these new updates!
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and other aspects in this story are rightfully J.K. Rowling's so I do not own them or make money off of it. With this in mind, some aspects of this particular story are altered or created with some still in canon as well in order to respect the original version J.K. created that we all have come to know and love.

Lily’s POV

For the first time ever in my life spent at Hogwarts, I couldn’t wait to go home. Since we came back from the hols it felt like Hogwarts has become my own personal hell. Every day provided more stress from exams and unnecessary distractions from one group of annoying, arrogant boys. I needed – no – _deserved_ a break from all this constant madness. Even the thought of Petunia insulting me for every single day for the rest of summer sounded better. It would give me something other to think about than what happened a few days ago.

  
First it was the reality of becoming 7th years finally hit us. It hit us faster than one of those balls from Quidditch that everyone seems obsessed with. Our teachers told us about how we will soon be transitioning into the wizarding world as adults. It was important that we found out how we fit in it as productive citizens. Suddenly it seemed like everyone was having a mental breakdown. No one knew what they wanted to do with their life or which path was the correct one. Our last year and what we took was important to set us up for our future – and we had to decide this at sixteen. (Who the hell thought that was a good idea?!)

  
I had yet to meet a single sixth year who didn’t question about our impending adulthood. Everyone heard the rumors about how seventh year was the most brutal, both emotionally and mentally. On top of that, there is this supposed mad man running around the wizarding world. He spreads some bigotry with his followers acting upon it. They have targeted muggleborns and these attacks have included serious injuries and deaths. Everything that happens in our education from here on out matters to our futures and our safety. We all couldn’t accept that after years of wanting to be older that we were the oldest ones now. We wished time would slow down so we could never be the ones being the oldest. The fact that we would be leaving Hogwarts for the last time next spring left a bittersweet feeling.

  
James Arrogant Toerag “I’m-The-King-of-the-World” Potter then decided this was the year he wouldn’t leave me alone. He felt that after Severus called me a Mudblood in the halls was a good time to swoop in on me. It’s like the talk of leaving Hogwarts forever inspired him to annoy the living hell out of me more than usual. He became convinced that someday I would run into his arms (talk about ick) and fall head over heels in love with him ( _definitely_ not going to ever happen). I would almost think he was desperate to win me over before he actually felt something for me but I knew better.

  
James Potter was the most self-absorbed, conceited, obnoxious and selfish person I have ever met. Potter and his stupid friends that call themselves by that idiotic name - the _Marauders_ – think they run this entire school all because they walked through the door. I wouldn’t be shocked if they could care less about anyone or their feelings but their own. Potter and his sidekick Black strut through the halls like Hogwarts is their kingdom. Like we’re all blessed enough to be their royal subjects. I’ve never seen either of them study any subject but all four of them somehow can keep up with everything. Sometimes they don’t even show up to class! Potter and Black are either not paying attention in class, in detention or on the Quidditch pitch. Do not get me started on when they’re shoving food down their face at a disgustingly fast pace. It was infuriating that someone like those two idiots got everything handed to them. No one even questions it.

  
The only exception of the four of them was Remus Lupin. He was the kindest and the most normal of the four. His intelligence outshines everyone and his wit could challenge even Dumbledore’s. Somehow he is their friend, day after freaking day, and tolerates their presence despite their immaturity. How he manages to deal with them on a daily basis and still chooses to hang out with them is beyond my comprehension. Peter Pettigrew was a mystery to round the four of them out. How little him manages to fit in is also beyond logic to me. Thinking about being in the same room as James Potter gave me a major headache. The thought that someday I would never have to endure unwanted flirtations, immature pranks, and James Potter himself asking me out everyday brought me the happiest joy I couldn’t wait to achieve.

  
All these factors brought so much stress in my life the past few months. I did not want this because of exams, papers and don’t even get me started on researching for a future career. As if to top this shitty school year off with whipped cream and a cherry on top, several days ago Severus called me… He called me that _awful_ word again. That awful word which is demeaning to muggleborns to make them feel insignificant compared to purebloods. Like they’re less than anyone else because they came from muggles. I had forgiven him the first time after he said it. I believed he only said those things because he was provoked by Malfoy and his cruel companions after I caught them lurking after hours in the halls. I was completely wrong in assuming things would go back to normal after he apologized. Thinking about him and that whole event was like a slap in the face. It made me want to run to the loo and throw up my breakfast with how nauseous it made me. I never thought out of anyone in the world, my best friend, the person who made it his mission to accept my differences and abilities when we were younger, the one who listened to me cry about Petunia’s cruel insults, the one who I defended to anyone who would listen about how he was different and wasn’t the stereotypical Slytherin that everyone thought him to be, would prove me wrong and betray me. Not only did he called me the nastiest word to my face again after he swore not to, he also said it out loud in front of every sixth year. Thinking about it brought tears to my eyes…

  
-

  
“I don’t understand why you need to hang out with them. I’ve… heard things about Lucius Malfoy and that whole crowd he runs with. They’re not good things Severus.” I said quietly, not looking at him. It was our last free day before our exams. Everyone was taking advantage of the beautiful weather we were having. Nearly everyone in our year was near the lake so this gave me the time to talk to Severus without a lot of people making a big deal about it. I knew Alice was probably in some hidden corridor with Frank and Marlene had been making excuses and disappearing for a while now. Normally they would beg me to not talk with him given our history and right now I wished I had them as my rocks. Things were still awkward between Sev and I. I couldn’t understand why for the most part; but, I could think about some things that bothered me.

  
Over the past several years, Severus had become friends with Lucius Malfoy and his crowd. Lucius Malfoy was a cold person who terrified me to the core by one look. The Malfoy look was infamous, even to someone like me who did not know about him before. There were rumors that Malfoy was in support of the man whose soul mission is to dispose of all muggleborn wizards. This crazy man wanted a pureblood society of wizards that Salazar Slytherin dreamed of. It was not surprising this type of gossip ran amok in the halls of Hogwarts. Of course it was a bunch of bullocks – but the possibility was still frightening.

  
The thought that Severus was friends with them put a queasy feeling in my stomach. I didn’t understand it at all. I _knew_ he felt differently about muggle borns because I was his best friend. But the other day I saw him bully a second year with Bellatrix Black as the leader. Lucius Malfoy stood by observing the whole situation. Severus seemed to be… Enjoying it which wasn’t him at all. I felt horrified and knew that I had to do something. Severus was better than all that. I hated confrontation but this was something I couldn’t ignore any longer.

  
“They’re my friends.” He said matter of factly as if to end the discussion. He continued to write in his potions book so I could take the hint to drop the topic or go away. I noticed how he didn’t deny the rumors but didn’t say they were true either. Severus tended to do this any time I brought them up. As if by ignoring their cruelty would mean it didn’t actually happen. I bit my lip because I could tell by his face this wasn’t a subject he wanted to talk about again, especially with me of all people. I had to keep trying though because I wasn’t the one to give up on a friend.

  
“So? They’re cruel and unfeeling. The vibe they give off… It’s an evil one. How can you be friends with them? How can you be friends with me knowing that they believe in that pureblood nonsense?”

  
“How can you be friends with Remus Lupin knowing he’s friends with Potter and Black, who bully me and every other Slytherin, but seem to get away with everything? What makes you think he is any better?” he shot back at me. I knew how the Marauders treated Severus and how he felt about them. Recently, he has become fixated on his hatred for the Marauders but has refused to tell me why. It caused me further annoyance with those four idiotic boys. My best friend couldn’t even share a secret with me because of them. My hands curled into little fists. I had to remember to take deep, slow breaths. Our argument shouldn’t become so public, especially since the closest group of people were several feet away.

  
“He’s smart and we have Advanced Transfiguration together. We’re also going to end up on the same tract for our NEWTs next year if you want to get pissy about that too. Don’t change the subject.” He whipped his head up from his book to lock eyes with me. We both glared at each other with a clear invisible divide between us that seemed to always pop up. I could feel the divide growing stronger, thickening as the seconds went by. "You’re better than them. You’re good. Everyone says –”

  
“I’m _not_ good Lily. And furthermore, if I want to be friends with Lucius and them then I will. The sooner you accept that the better.” Severus bit out. He turned back to his book as if to close the discussion once again but I wasn’t going to let him go.

  
“No I will not.” I cleared my throat as I noticed about how much louder we were getting with each sentence. “You are good and I won’t believe –”

  
“Well, well, well.” Severus and I froze to where we were. I turned my head to see Lucius Malfoy and his crew were strolling towards us. But Lucius’s eyes and his smile were anything like his walk. His arranged-engagement-turned-real-girlfriend Narcissa Black, trailing behind him with the same cold demeanor, frowned. Her older sister, Bellatrix was all over her new obsession, Rodolphus Lestrange. When she heard Lucius talk her smile turned into a cruel smirk with a sparkle in her eye that made her look crazy. It became too warm for what it was supposed to be this time of year and somehow breathing became difficult. “What an interesting picture this is. Snape and his…” Malfoy didn’t hide his sneer at all. “Loyal _muggleborn_ pet.”

  
“I am not his loyal pet. I’m his friend.” I say defensively. I was surprised at how I could keep a straight face and a steady voice when all four of them were standing before me. My confidence went down when I saw how Bellatrix was looking at me. It was like I was a wild animal and she was a predator waiting to pounce on her prey.  
“You? His friend?” Bellatrix laughed out loud which seemed to make the crazy sparkle in her eye brighter. Her laugh caused a lot of people to look and become quiet. Bellatrix did not laugh often but when she did the result of it was not a good one. To the rest of our year, this would be a show but to me this was a disaster that I was desperate to escape from. “Don’t make me laugh. He wouldn’t be friends with you when he has us. People with… better backgrounds than soiled scum like you.” She smiled at me as if she was trying to portray being sweet but her predator demeanor hadn’t changed.

  
“Come on Bella, don’t tease the poor girl. It’s not like she knows better. She’s a swotty know-it-all _Gryffindor_.” Rodolphus smirked. The way he looked at me felt as dirty as Bellatrix claimed I was. “She’s probably a dirty little notch in his bed. Nothing more than a distraction.” He looked me up and down. “A disgraceful and traitorous distraction but that’s all.”

  
“Excuse me?” It was embarrassing at how many octaves my voice went up because of his accusation. I could feel my face heating up. My heartbeat started to pound in my ears. My stomach churned from wanting to throw up. Somehow it was like I was learning how to speak with how the words couldn’t form and come out.

  
“You heard me.” Rodolphus stepped closer to me as I stepped away from him. That appreciative look he gave me earlier was gone and replaced with a sinister look. “You’re another filthy, used whore in his bed. Nothing less and definitely not anything more.”

 

Bellatrix cackled like an annoying preteen schoolgirl and began to rub his arm. “Oh, Rodolphus how clever you are.”

  
“We would think you would have better tastes, Severus, but I suppose it can be overlooked.” I felt thankful and released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. Malfoy’s tone and body language indicated he's bored. When Malfoy was disinterested, he moved on to something more entertainging. Or rather find a new person for him to tell Bellatrix to treat cruelly.

  
“I do. I would never sleep with her much less touch her. She’s not pretty or appealing in any sort of way.” Severus snapped. I whipped my head to look at him. He was looking stoic and refused to look at me. While I never looked at Severus as anything more than my best friend, it hurt a little that he would say I wasn’t pretty.

  
“You say one thing but we all have observed a time when your body language and your actions said otherwise.” said Narcissus. She pursed her lips and quirked her eyebrow while studying me head-to-toe. I could taste blood in my mouth from biting on my tongue so hard. I refused to stoop to their level but I never felt the desire to scream at them in my own defense so much in my life.

  
“What is it going to get through your heads?” Severus shouted sounding completely exasperated. I noticed how everything and everyone got eerily quiet once again. Anyone that was sitting within the vicinity was watching us at this point if they already weren’t before. If a pin dropped in the nearby forest I’m sure we could all hear it. “She’s a pathetic girl who somehow has gotten through her dull head that we’re friends and doesn’t seem to understand the concept.”

  
I would like to think I wasn’t a violent person but I have never wanted to punch someone more in my whole damn life. It was now that words came tumbling out of my mouth. “Could’ve fooled me _Severus_.”

  
Severus winced and it didn’t go unnoticed. Malfoy didn’t look so bored anymore. They all turned and looked at him. “How… interesting.” Malfoy’s body language changed and Severus paled. My heart stopped at how frightening Malfoy became and at the possibility he might hurt me. I almost instinctively grabbed my wand in my robe pocket. “She thinks you are friends. I wonder why she thinks that.” His voice was challenging Severus to say something. Severus looked pained at some unspoken thing that had transpired between them.

  
“Severus… tell them…” I started, hoping in this fleeting moment if Severus stood up to his friends everything could change.

  
“NO!” Severus yelled and made everyone jump. Malfoy had, for the first time, shown actual emotion on his face, shocked by his friend’s sudden outburst. Everyone looked as surprised at his outburst. Malfoy recovered back to his cold mask as Severus turned to me with his eyes blazing with fiery frustration and fear. “We are _not_ friends. We have never been friends. You think I would be friends with you?! Did you not get it through your know-it-all head yet the first time? You’re nothing more than a filthy, little mudblood to me.”

  
My mouth flew open and tears started to form in my eyes. I barely heard the gasps from all around us before Bellatrix’s cackle drowned them out. The world started to spin and breathing became difficult once again. My whole body felt like it was on fire from shame and embarrassment. My heartbeat became so loud and fast that it pushed every bit of noise out. Did he say that? After promising that he didn't mean it? Severus, my best friend, would never say this and _mean_ it. It was all them. It had to be. He wouldn’t do this all on his own. They turned him into this… this person I didn’t know or recognize.

  
While I was trying to process my denial, I saw out of the corner of my eye Severus upside down in the air. Malfoy and his crew have their wands out whipped out in seconds ready to fight. I turned my head to see Potter and his motley crew walking towards us. Potter’s wand pointed at Severus while Remus, Black and little Peter Pettigrew were facing Malfoy and his crew. Peter looked terrified and reluctant to be there. The other three looked furious. They all didn’t seem to care that I was still between both groups. Should anything happen I would most likely get hit by a rogue spell.

  
“How touching. The Marauders, once again, to the rescue.” Malfoy spat with a sneer. “Or should I say how typical.”

  
“Ah Malfoy, what touching words. I should have them stitched on a pillow.” Sirius retorted. Bellatrix took a step closer to her cousin, her eyes looking wild. Her knuckles turned even whiter under her pale skin at how hard she was gripping her wand. “Careful cousin. Wouldn't want to do something you would end up regretting.” Bellatrix’s mouth turned into a manic sneer. It was old news to everyone in the wizarding world about how Sirius was the only Black in history to be sorted into Gryffindor. He distanced himself from the family name then latched onto Potter for friendship. No one in the Black family ever forgave him. They felt like a vicious betrayal to the Black pureblood name, which no doubt included Bellatrix and Narcissa.

  
“What needs to happen now is Snape to apologize to Lily and we can all go our separate ways.” Even in the middle of all this chaos Remus was the calm voice of reason. Bless him and his angelic soul.

  
“He doesn’t need to say or do anything. No reason to apologize for the truth.” Somehow Narcissa still spoke as calmly she did earlier. Silent stubbornness of either side refusing to back down then ensued after her words. People were starting to crowd around us to see what happened next. No one moved or said a thing in case they missed something important. Tension became thick. Both opposing groups waited for the other to do something first.

  
My brain decided to finally catch up what was happening in the moment. I realized that Severus was still in the air. He was scum for all I knew now so this left a feeling of bitter satisfaction within me. Regardless, that didn't mean he deserved Potter's irresponsible actions.

  
“Put. Him. Down.” I said through my gritted teeth to Potter. Why does he feel the need to embarrass me in front of the whole school _all the time_? He might be doing it to come off as the arrogant knight in shining armor but this was downright insulting as well. Did he think that I needed help? He didn’t think any of this through because his big head only thought of himself.

  
Potter whipped his head to me and looked at me I was crazy. “Evans, come on. He called you… He said -“

  
“I’m aware of what Snape said.” I snapped. As if I needed another reminder of what happened. I chanted over and over in my head that I wouldn’t – no, couldn’t – burst into tears even though I wanted to. I didn’t want to give Bellatrix Black, of all people, the satisfaction of watching me cry and never hearing the end of it.

  
“Yes Potter. Listen to the filthy mudblood and put our dear Severus down.” cooed Bellatrix. It surprised us all when Sirius Black snapped out of place first and marched right up to her face. It happened all the fast for any of us to process what was happening.

  
“You shut that disgusting pie hole of a mouth, dear sweet cousin. Would be an awful shame if anything happened to it.” Sirius said sweetly with a clear undertone of the threat between his words.

  
Lestrange then grabbed Sirius by the shirt and punched him square in the mouth. Sirius responded by tackling him. Everything then turned into a shit show case of chaos around us. Bellatrix was in hysterics about how her boy toy and cousin were close to killing each other, too afraid to send any nasty hexes in case it hit her boy toy instead of her cousin. Malfoy watched this all in faint amusement. Narcissa's mask broke and she stood there in shock about what was happening before recovering. Potter, Remus and little Pettigrew were trying to rip Sirius away from the fight. I’ve never seen Sirius Black in any other mood than his smooth, charming manner. Seeing this side of him was downright terrifying. Black’s movements against Lestrange was like a dog attacking a wild animal. Potter appeared in the middle of everything and ripped them apart. He said something quietly which somehow caused Black to composed himself, despite the fact he had a huge bleeding gash near his eyebrow. Bellatrix was all over Lestrange and cursing her cousin for everyone to hear.

  
“As interesting as this is,” began Malfoy. He even yawned for effect to show how bored he was. Lucius Malfoy never missed a moment for dramatics or to seize the upperhand of the moment. “We have more important matters to attend to. Come Cissa. Bella. Rodolphus.” He held out his hand to Narcissa and they both began to walk away. Bellatrix shot me a deathly glare that made me aware that this wasn’t over. Malfoy paused which caused everyone else to pause as well. “As should you Severus but you should cleanse yourself first.” They continued to walk off while Severus’s pale face grew pink. He dusted himself off, as if that was what Malfoy was referring to by his secondhand comment, and ran after them.

  
“Sirius, you shouldn’t have done that. You’re better than that. You can can’t let them get to you.” I heard Potter say in a low voice. Black shot him a withering look but laughed. Potter laughed right with him and all I could see was red.

  
“How DARE you. You had no right to do that!” I yelled at Potter. “Do you think this is funny?”

  
“Oh, come off it Evans. Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy watching my cousin squirm or Snivellous in the air.” said Sirius. He was smiling real wide now and looked so proud of himself. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole.

  
“I did _not_ enjoy that.” An outright lie but I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of knowing. It took everything in me to not scratch out his eyes for being so happy at what they did. I turned back to Potter. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  
Potter stared at me as if I spoke a different language. “You’re kidding, right? He _insulted_ you. He called you a… That word. Not even insulted but basically threw you in the garbage like you belonged there. And in front of Malfoy! No one deserves that sort of treatment. You didn’t deserve that even after all you've done for the greasy git over the years.” I almost felt touched but then his flirtatious smirk appeared. “What you do deserve is to be with me but we can discuss that over dinner later.”

  
My mouth flew open in outright shock. I heard girls around me giggle and sigh dreamily about how they wish this was them. The boys around us were elbowing each other and snickering. Next thing I knew my hand flew right across his face. A bright red handprint appeared on his cheek. Everyone was shocked at the fact me, Lily Evans, broke her composure.

  
“How. Dare. You.” I could barely get out. Tears were threatening to spill over and all I wanted to do was scream in frustration. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. “You think you can walk around and do whatever you want to whoever crosses your path, don't you? You act like you're King Potter. You think everyone is going to worship the ground you walk on. I mean what else can you expect when that's happened for years now?!” Every sentence was getting louder and shriller. I sounded mental but I could care less.

  
Potter’s eyes flashed with anger while his smirk transformed into a hard frown. “Yeah because you looked like you had that situation completely under control. Five against one sounds like a fair fight. A simple thank you would be nice to hear.”

  
I slapped him again. “When is it going to get through your thick head, Potter? You’re absolutely disgusting to me. You’re selfish. You think of only yourself. You’re oblivious to everyone’s feelings for a laugh. You're still that arrogant toerag who doesn't know when to quit after he’s gone way too far. I’m surprised that Hogwarts can manage not to explode with your huge inflated ego trying to fit between the walls.” I was shaking at this point and tears were streaming down my face. Potter opened up his mouth but I interrupted him. “I will never, in a million years, be interested in you because of the way you are. You would be the last person I would ever want to associate with much less call my significant other. If you were smart enough to realize that you would have left me alone years ago. But that’s typical you.” My voice had gotten hoarse from the yelling and crying. I looked awful in that moment. I was completely embarrassed with how I was crying in front of everyone and how frustrated I was with him. He had to know how awful he was because of how awful he made me feel. “You are so into yourself that you wouldn’t even begin to realize that you are like him. For once in your life care about someone or something other than your looks.”

  
It all became too much as the world became too blurry. I had nothing left to say. I immediately ran off but not before I caught Potter’s stricken face and how it stayed with me until the morning.

  
-

  
I chewed on my bottom lip and wiped away my tears as I sat up on my bed next to my luggage. Thinking about everything after a couple days left me exhausted. Marlene and Alice accompanied me everywhere. I couldn’t escape everyone’s whispers, looks or their taunting. The only blessing was I hadn’t seen Potter and the rest of them since everything happened except during exams. Even then, none of them approached me except for Remus wishing me luck before our Potions exam. The last thing I needed right now was to see them after but it confused me all the same as well. I wanted to forget those moments but everything left me feeling uneasy. I couldn’t get the look on Potter’s face before I ran off out of my head. He never approached me or looked at me since then. I felt a little guilty for yelling at him because he was right about a few things. Severus treated me so and it was clear that I was outnumbered. But his arrogance about the situation made me feel my anger and embarrassment was justified. He’ll brush off what I said and go back to flirting with me on the train home. Of course, he would. That’s what he’s always done for the past six years.

  
“Lily!” Marlene poked her head into the dorm. “It’s time to go. Haven’t you been hearing me yelling at you for the past five minutes?”

  
“Sorry I am coming!” I tucked away those awful memories away and immediately ran with everything in tow.


	2. Giving Up is Hard to Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends it's me again! This chapter didn't need a lot of edits but that didn't stop me from reading it a million times to make sure it was okay. I'm taking some classes this summer but I'm hoping the next update will come up sooner rather than later. I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter from James's point of view. Also, for those who are Tonks fans, I hope you enjoy the reference!!
> 
> Side note: I did quite a bit of research about Alice Longbottom and what her maiden name was. Many people had differing opinions or didn't know the full answer. According to various sources, J.K. has in her notebook that Alice was a Prewitt, or a part of the Prewitt family before she married Frank, so that is why I gave her the last name of Prewitt.

James’ POV

_“I will never, in a million years, be interested in you because of the way you are. You would be the last person I would ever want to associate with much less call my significant other.”_

The train car jolted me out of my deep thoughts. I became aware of what was happening in my surroundings since I had drowned them out hours ago. Sirius was talking to Peter in detail about his latest conquest: a tease of a blonde from Ravenclaw that sounded like Amber Marchbanks. Remus was rolling his eyes as he was hiding his reactions behind his book. Peter was listening to learn tips from Sirius on how to flirt with girls. Even though he didn’t talk to them in the first place. I almost wanted to tell Peter to not listen to him. Sirius could hardly pay attention to a girl after conquering them. I didn’t have the energy to tell anyone Sirius's ruse at making people think he was still Hogwarts's manwhore.

For the past couple of months, he laid off searching for his next conquest. His change in behavior went unnoticed by everyone but I saw them. He never opened up to me why he would ever change his way and I never questioned it. Peter would be better off listening to Remus who could help from all the books he read. He was also the only one of us who had the hope of finding someone. Granted I assume Moony’s form of flirting was limited since I had never seen him with a female besides… her and Alice Prewitt. Definitely more than what I had at least.

_“You are so into yourself that you wouldn’t even begin to realize that you are just like him. For once in your life care about someone or something other than your looks.”_

“Earth to Prongs!”

I jumped and saw that they were staring at me. Peter had his standard look of being confused and concerned as he always had most of the day. Sirius was too busy staring at himself in the window’s reflection. I knew he was paying attention to what was happening. Remus looked at me with a frown etched on his face. “You were thinking about what Lily said to you, weren’t you?” My stomach felt like at any moment I could revisit my breakfast.

“Are you _still_ on that?” Sirius rolled his eyes, sat up then looked at me pointedly. I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me in that one look. I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t respond to him because no one knew how impossible it was. None of them understood why I couldn’t get this particular situation out of my head. Why I couldn't get _her_ out of my head, my being, my heart. Sure, Lily Evans yelled and threw insults at me since I could remember walking through Hogwarts for the first time. But this time around… It was different in a way that made me uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable was not something I was used to and it definitely wasn’t a feeling I liked. All three of them had tried to get me to talk about it, mostly Remus though, since… the incident at the lake happened. Every time I shut them down when they tried to start. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk about Snape or Malfoy but more of _her_ since they wouldn’t go away in my head.

“You know it’s not that simple. It’s always easier said than done.” said Remus as he defended me. Sirius made a snorting sound as if Remus made a joke but frowned anyway. Remus was right (as if that was a surprise) but it’s not like Sirius would know anything about this subject. As if he would ever admit to anyone in this group either. He barely looked at a girl again after hooking up with them. Or used to at least given recent events. His experience on love was ironically inexperienced.

“Careful Padfoot. You’ll get wrinkles around your mouth frowning like that. No girl will want to kiss you much less want to come near you then.” I tried to make my voice light to change the subject. People stared and made quips leading up to now. The last thing I needed was for them to join in and for them to look at me with pity like everyone else. Now was the time to prove that everything was okay. Even more importantly that _I_ was okay.

“The day a girl isn’t interested in me or my good looks is the day the female population goes blind. I mean come on? Look at me.” Sirius flipped his hair and did his best to look seductive. Remus groaned at that comment and went back to reading his book. Peter nodded enthusiastically like he always did when it came to Sirius’s comments. That at least got me to smile at the normalcy of it all. I was thankful we were finally going in the direction of conversation I wanted to. I immediately felt dread and froze when I saw a flash of red in from the hallways but it was one of the Serber twins. Maggie was the only other red head in our year except for... For _her_.

“Yet somehow the one girl you’re interested in is already blind.” Remus teased behind his book. Sirius focused on Remus and glared at him. Peter giggled in his boyish way. I could feel my spirits lifting since, for once, no one was watching me and saw what happened. It was rare that Remus was in a teasing type of mood and not focused on ignoring us to study or to read.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Moony. You and I both know I’m currently not interested in anybody right now. Even if I was I could get any witch that I wanted without even trying. Or I guess should I ask what sentence you’re going to stumble over when you see a girl next?” Sirius shot back. Remus set his book down and shot him a withering look. Peter’s eyes widened and looked between Sirius and Remus like it was an intense Quidditch match.

I rolled my eyes. In a way Remus should’ve known better than to tease Sirius about this particular subject. It was no secret that Sirius and Remus for the past several months have had this thing. They would argue about Sirius liking this mystery girl which he would then deny and get nasty to us. For Sirius, his one weakness was bullying. He had enough of it from his family that even the minor teasing from us sometimes was too much. He would immediately close up and go on the defense. There is a reason why Sirius was known as Padfoot because his likeness to a dog is eerily similar. After a while Sirius grew frustrated because Moony wouldn’t budge and he would storm off to be by himself. He’d always come back cheery and carefree. I wouldn’t be surprised if all these times he’s stormed off he’s been hooking up with girls.

Peter was not confident enough to sometimes speak in our group so he was terrified of the few crushes he had on girls. He was often intimidated by how smart they were and how he didn’t get how flirting worked. It wasn’t until we were 4th years that Remus remembered that girls were, you know, actually girls. He had a few things that could have been something but he shut it down whenever it got to the point of them finding out his furry little secret. Ever since he realized that was something he would face for any relationship he would have, he refused to ever get in one. He limited his interactions with females by studying all the time and doing homework in the library. That was his version of “dating” yet somehow the girl didn’t know that and would move onto to someone else. Remus was smart but when it came to girls, he was completely oblivious. He liked to think girls could handle the bare minimum and be okay with it. He was convinced that girls should view him as a peer and nothing more. At this rate, he wouldn’t get together with someone by the time Sirius’s baby cousin Nymphadora grew up. I made a mental note to change Remus’s self-confidence by next year.

There were a lot of girls out there, sure, that were datable. In fact we had lots of great girls at Hogwarts but… None of them compared to Lily Evans. Lily… She was a walking angel and goddess amongst all them. I remember the first time our first year seeing her in the halls with her new best friends and how confident she was in class. I don’t remember my first Charms lesson at all because I was too captivated by what she was doing and saying. I knew from that day on I was in love with her. She was the girl I wanted to become the future Mrs. James Potter. We met for the first time not too long after and somehow that was the day she began hating me despite not knowing me. When I was eleven that confused the ever-living hell out of me at the time. I tried to make a better first impression. Anything I would say or do would make things worse. Even if I went all out and apologized to her. For the most part, it was scoldings and the occasional yellings. I couldn’t count the number of times she’s ignored me. Despite all that I kept getting more and more captivated every day I saw her. When she came back for fourth year and looked completely like a woman I was gone. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stay away. I knew she was the one for me and I fantasized about the day we would have our first hug, our first kiss, our first date. Then… yesterday any thoughts about that shriveled away. I couldn’t even think about any aspect of her without feeling like I had gotten beaten to a pulp and my heart wanted to explode. I always heard from Remus talking from his books that heartbreak was the worst thing to read about and now I know why. It was a bitch and the absolute worst thing to experience. It wouldn’t _go away_.

“James.” I looked at Remus. It was rare that we called each other by our first names. It indicated how serious the situation was. The feeling of dread filled me because I knew exactly where this was going. “Everything will be okay. Lily will apologize , I’m sure.”

“Evans is too much of a people pleaser. I mean have you seen her in class? The thought that one person, even you of all people Prongs, is unhappy with her will make her break out in hives or something.” Sirius then decided that now was the perfect time to lounge all over the couch we were sharing. He winked at the passing group of fourth years whose giggles could be heard for quite some time after the fact. I could tell that Sirius wasn’t interested in talking about this. For once, his disinterested was a blessing in disguise.

“It’s not like it would matter anyway.” I muttered. They wouldn’t understand about how things were different this time.

“Maybe not.” Peter squeaked. His face was turning redder because of all the attention on him. “Padfoot is right. Lily will apologize soon.” I felt a pang of annoyance. Peter was a follower; but, he has proven how useful he is throughout these years so I couldn’t complain much. In moments like this I wish he had an honest opinion that was his own.

“For once I will have to agree with Padfoot and Wormtail.” Remus sat down his book again which was rare. He never put his books down even when talking with us. “Lily is not the type to hold grudges. She’ll come around and apologize. I’d be surprised if you didn’t get a letter over the summer about it.” He shot me a pointed look before opening his book.

“Maybe she’s not but I am.” I realized that I said this out loud instead of in my head and regretted even participating in this argument.

“What does that mean?” That was Peter’s most used phrase but for once it looked like Remus or Sirius couldn’t provide the answer for him. All three of them were staring at me, waiting for me to respond. I ran my hand through my hair. I shouldn’t even _consider_ telling them. I knew deep down that none of them would understand where I was coming from. They wouldn’t believe me even if they knew what I was thinking about. But they were my friends and they deserved to know.

“It means…” I leaned forward so my elbows were on my knees. I couldn’t look at them when I told them this so my hands were the next best thing. I started ringing my hands and never realized how nervous I was to talk about this. I took a deep breath and tried to think this through. “It means that I… I’m thinking about giving up.” I peeked at them . I was thankful that they weren’t staring at me anymore. Sirius was playing with his wand and looked bored. Peter still looked confused about what I was meaning. Remus thought nothing of my comment as he kept reading his book. I realized after a brief pause that I needed to clarify. I cleared my throat and knew this had to done if I wanted this to not be brought up again. “It’s time for me to give up on trying to win Lily over. It’s time for me to move on.”

Sirius sat up so fast that his wand flew out of his hand which hit Remus’s book and ricocheted off into Peter’s face. Remus’s book went tumbling down onto the floor. The solid _thud_ was the last thing heard in the stunned silence. They all turned and looked at me, trying to determine if I was joking or not. I stared back at them because what else was there to say?

“Well thank _GOD_.” Sirius said which made the three of us jump. He immediately went back to lounging on the couch. “I’ve been telling you to do this since we were third years. _Finally,_ someone listens to my ideas and notices that I’m a genius.”

“James I…” Remus was too shocked to even scold Sirius for his comment which was also a rarity.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do this?” We all turned to Peter. His face transitioned to a unique looking reddish-purple color that didn’t look all that healthy. It was time likes these when I remembered that Peter didn’t like the attention all on him.

“Yeah I’m sure.” I shook my head. “I mean I think I’m sure. You all heard her at the lake. Again.” I had to squeeze my knees to try and block the memories. “She’s never going to be interested. There’s no point in chasing a dream that’s not happening. She… She deserves her peace. More importantly so do I.”

“Like I said. My idea.”

“Padfoot please.” scolded Remus. He turned his attention to me. “Yes, we heard what she said but she was angry and right.” Sirius made a noise of protest which prompted Remus to roll his eyes. “Okay _partially_ right. We shouldn’t have done that to Snape. He was her friend for years. We can’t forget that.”

“He deserved it though?” Peter said this almost as if he was asking it as a question.

“Yes, _poor_ greasy Snivellus.” Sirius said dramatically. He then stared at Remus. “Anyone who hangs out with my twit of a cousin is not someone to feel sorry for. You’re telling me _Malfoy’s minion_ deserves pity in all this?”

“No one deserves to be hung upside down in front of everyone we know.” Despite keeping his voice steady, I could tell Remus was faltering in his line of logic. Lucius Malfoy was the most arrogant piece of scum. He promoted that shit-filled propaganda against muggleborns being less than purebloods. I’m sure everyone heard about how he and Lestrange recently pledged loyalty to the craziest nut job who believes in it. Even Dumbledore’s heard about it I'm sure. There were rumors of how they were branded with some kind of mark to prove their said loyalty. It was crazy how rumors were spread and everyone believed them. Yeah Malfoy and Lestrange were assholes but not downright stupid. That didn’t excuse the fact they bullied any first year that crossed their paths. Remus could defend Snivellus all he wanted but he couldn’t deny that anyone who ran with Malfoy was also a piece of shit with evil intentions.

“But he called Evans a mu…“ Peter caught himself from the death glare I gave him. He gulped . “He called her _that_ word. And that's not the first time he said it!” Remus sighed knowing for once he couldn’t be the voice of reason.

“Naturally my cousin was _thrilled_ at that.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “She might as well have had sex with Lestrange right then and there with how ecstatic it made her. Ugh actually let’s not go down that road. The thought that someday my cousin will reproduce makes me want to walk off a cliff.”

“But still…” I could tell Remus was trying to be a neutral source but Sirius’s comment could make about anyone nauseous.

“She could have at least apologized.” grumbled Peter.

“Wormtail is right.” Peter lit up at such a praise from Sirius. “Evans could have at least been grateful. Being friends with Snivellus was getting her nowhere. You all have heard how she’s defended him to everyone we know. She didn’t have to be a bitch about everything. More importantly a bitch to us about the fact we saved her.”

“Padfoot, he’s been her best friend for –“

“Do not get me started on _that_. Some ‘best friend’ he is. He runs with Malfoy and my idiotic cousin to prove he’s worthy of anything but can’t be loyal for a supposed best friend he’s known forever. Then he insults Evans right to her face and yet she thinks she can yell at Prongs like –“

“Enough.” I sharply said. They needed to understand how I felt. “I meant what I said earlier. I’m not running after... Lily anymore. She… was right about a lot of things.” I held my hand up when Sirius tried to speak. “I’m not saying she was right about everything but… Guys, I don’t know how to explain it. That moment changed me. Or at least how I feel about her. It was in that moment that I realized how I am in love with this girl who couldn't speak to me without getting angry at me.” I cleared my throat realizing that was the first moment I told any of them how I felt about her. “Not only that but she thinks that I only think about myself and my looks. In what fucking world could I prove that wrong? I can’t. Anything I’ve trist doesn’t work. I …” I sighed and I felt so exhausted. “I’m so tired. I’m tired of getting yelled at and slapped and ignored. I’m tired of trying to win her over to be shown that what I’m doing is all wrong. I’m tired of getting my heart broken over a helpless cause. It’s not worth it anymore and I need to move on.”

For once Sirius didn’t have anything to say. Remus was staring out the window with a conflicted look on his face. Peter started to fiddle with cloak’s pocket. For days now I didn’t want to talk about this. Now having everything laid out I was hoping they would start talking to fill the silent space.

“So… What are you going to do now?” Peter asked quietly.

“We’re going to find someone for Prongs.” said Sirius as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. “We’ll find some girl that will blow Evans out of the water. We have all summer to come up with a plan. There’s always some new smoking hot girls that come in every start of the year. We’ll find a girl that’s going to help you forget about her.” Sirius grinned confidently as if knowing his plan was going to work. I couldn’t help but feeling a tinge of doubt. I didn’t have it in me though to tell him that it was going to take a couple tries before anything worked in me getting over Lily.

Remus bit his lip which is what he does when he’s thinking about something. “I mean… Lily will come to realize that she’s wrong and realize how great you are as a person but…” His eyes traveled to Peter and Sirius before settling on me. “You’ve clearly given some thought about this. This isn’t something you’re also doing rationally or illogically.” He was saying this all as if thinking through every word. I knew he was closer to Lily than I could ever dream of being. They were friends and I knew he was feeling conflicted on how to handle this whole situation. “That being said… If you think it’s what best than I’ll support you.”

“Yeah mate. We all do.” Peter and Sirius nodded in agreement.

I smiled weakly. “Thanks.” While I felt better getting this off my chest, I didn’t feel confident about any of it. For once I didn’t know what was going to happen. I was so convinced for years that Lily and I would end up together that this was new territory for me. I was going to start over. For once I was going to have to put action behind all the flirting I’ve been doing all these years. Saying something and then going through it was something else. I’m in love with a girl I can’t even have and it was depressing to think about how long it would take for me to even get over her.

“What’s the plan then?” Peter almost looked giddy.

“Okay here’s what we do. First, we have to get Prongs to act indifferent to her and then…” Sirius continued to talk animatedly about what we were going to do. Peter was listening so intently as if this was actually school again. Remus was rolling his eyes and adding in what he thought was necessary to Sirius’s comments. The three of them became hunched over and discussing all the pros and cons to certain methods. Listening to them made me smile. Maybe whatever plan they came up might actually work.


	3. Making the List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a quick turnaround for this chapter and back to Lily's POV. Spoiler alert: I'm sorry to say that she doesn't feel all too bad about what happened at school or at least doesn't lose sleep over thinking about it too much. Marlene and Alice make their grand entrance and I can only hope I gave them justice since we didn't get to know them as well in the book series. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I had editing it!

Lily’s POV

I pinched the bridge of my nose harder as I heard Petunia’s high pitch squeal of a laugh coming from downstairs. My head was pounding from an enormous headache for about the millionth time since I came home. I can only imagine that whatever was said came from her boyfriend – sorry, _fiancé_ now, talk about ick – and it wasn’t that funny. Petunia was over-compensating for his large ego or she really thought he _was_ funny which is more terrifying to think about than anything. I didn’t know which one was worse: tonight, or the last few months at Hogwarts. At this moment, I couldn’t decide because thinking about either situation made my head pound even more.

If someone told me that the rather large and round dullish boy Petunia brought home two summers ago and didn’t stop talking about would now be her fiancé, I would have laughed so hard I would’ve been in tears. Yeah, we had our differences but Petunia had standards. He sounded like the most boring, stale, dry, pretentious and judgmental person I had ever heard described to me. _Vernon Dursley_. Even his name was the most uninspiring name I’ve ever heard in my life. My sister claims they have the most passionate and romantic type of relationship, yet from all that I heard from Petunia sounded like anything but. The way they met sounded quite the opposite of what my sister liked to always talk about to my parents and all of her friends. They ran into each other at _an office supply store_. Petunia was getting her rather plain stationary paper and Vernon’s version of flirtatiously hitting on her was approaching to tell her the best type of steel pen to get the best use for writing on said plain stationary paper. Somehow Petunia found Vernon and his astute observations of writing utensils extremely charming and accepted his invitation to dinner. I could only imagine how those first date conversations went. Unfortunately, I didn’t have to imagine too hard because a year and a half later Vernon proposed. Petunia accepted and now this was a side of Petunia we all had to endure.

It became all too clear from her descriptions and the pictures she showed why Petunia was so attracted to him. He had an executive salesman job at this prestigious drill company he liked to remind everyone of in every single conversation he was a part of, according to Dad. He probably had a routine and a predictable lifestyle that he did on the daily. I’m sure he never did anything out of the ordinary and I doubt he didn’t do a lot of things “for the heck of it.” Vernon was overwhelmingly and quite… _Normal._ Petunia very much wanted normalcy in her life. In fact, she _desired_ for normalcy so much that it turned into an obsession.

It used to bother me – Petunia’s obsession with all things considered normal and nothing out of the ordinary. We used to be best friends and did everything together when we were younger. I mean, we were sisters. We played dress up and had tea parties together. We were queens for the day for our respective kingdoms and built forts to have sleepovers in. Petunia did makeovers on me and she helped me explore the areas around our house when we got to play outside. We used to laugh plus share secrets with one another all the time. Then not too long after I turned eleven, I got my Hogwarts letter and became friends with Severus who also was going to Hogwarts. Everything changed after that including the relationship between us. Petunia turned cold and unfeeling towards me. Anything that I did was not considered normal. There was hardly a time that she didn’t criticize something about me or the anything that I did. At the time when I was younger, it confused me at how she turned on me but I eventually put two and two together. She hated the fact that I was a witch more than anything. That was definitely _not_ what she categorized as normal.

The only blessing for this entire situation is I’ve met Vernon twice. Other than that, I’ve only ever seen pictures and what descriptions I’ve heard from Petunia and Mum and Dad. Petunia has, from the very beginning of their relationship, objected to the possibility of us ever getting along. At first this seemed dumb but after meeting him, it was clear there is, in fact, a male version of Petunia and she happened to find him somehow. Because of past experiences it wasn’t something my parents ever pressed on her to change. I imagine that her “incredibly handsome” fiancé who loved normal as much as she didn’t object since I’m sure she told him how unnatural and not-so-ordinary I was. I'd be surprised to find out if he knew how _unnormal_ I was. Anytime Vernon came over I chose to stay in my room and I never left if I had to. Petunia was always happiest when I wasn’t around, especially near her now fiancé. I used to leave my door open when he did come over the first summer he was around so I could feel somewhat included. I learned that I could have done homework and it would’ve been more entertaining than listening to Vernon and Petunia talk to each other. Dad was right on how unexciting he was. I couldn’t remember a solid time I’ve eavesdropped on their dinners where he didn’t mention something about his mundane life. Actually I don’t remember overhearing a conversation from him that he didn’t talk about himself, his job or his opinions of all things normal or not so normal.

Petunia’s laugh once again came drifting through my door to interrupt my thoughts. I groaned when I heard the word “wedding” once again drifting through the cracks of my door. When I had come back from Hogwarts, I had the joy of learning that Petunia was in full swing of planning her wedding to Vernon, but more importantly, she wasn’t intent on letting me help in any sort of way. Any wedding planning was done outside of the house so I wouldn’t walk or listen in on anything. Mum tried to buffer the tension with us. She was in constant belief we would go back to our old ways of being close. What she didn’t know was that Petunia was firm in not changing her opinion and I gave up trying to change our relationship a long time ago.

I couldn’t imagine enduring the next three months of hearing about wedding planning, sly insults and Petunia’s never-ending mushy comments about her fiancé. I had enough talk about lace and flowers and table settings already. I could hardly handle it when she talked about how handsome Vernon will be on the day of. Any time that the wedding was brought up made my head pound. What made matters worse was Dad going to be in a special lecture circuit in the States at various universities so he was going to be gone for a portion of the summer. Petunia was going to be dragging Mum everywhere for all the planning. This meant that I would spend my last summer at home mostly alone. I had to get out of here somehow to avoid it all.

My eyes shot open at the thought that appeared in my head. I immediately hopped off my head and headed to my desk. I began writing a letter, praying that my spontaneous idea will work.

-

I nervously sipped my coffee. I prepared a massive breakfast this morning in preparation for my parents. I made pancakes and muffins from scratch. I squeezed orange juice by hand even. The bacon was sizzling on the skillet, waiting to be taken off any second. Every moment the grease popped made me fidget and jump. I was waiting for my parents to come into the scene I made in the kitchen. I hoped this would be enough to convince them that my idea was beneficial in the long run.

 

“Good morning sweetheart.” Mum came in with her robe on. She yawned and her eyes widened as she took in everything before her. She was surprised at the scene before her. “You made breakfast.”

“I did! I figured I should do that after, you know, last night.” I said. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and I had to focus on doing something else. I immediately turned my attention to taking the bacon off. Mum poured herself some coffee then I overheard her greeting Dad as he walked into the kitchen. I added the bacon to the spread and let them begin making their plates. I had to repeat my idea over and over again in my head to remind me why I was doing this. More importantly I had to remember why this was a good idea.

“What was the occasion for making breakfast Lilypad?” Dad asked through his mouth full of pancake.

“I made it for you guys. For last night.” I smiled. Mum loved the fact that Petunia was engaged and there was a wedding to plan; but, Dad had problems with Vernon. He felt he was pretentious not to mention he was very proud of his normal life and accomplishments. Any sane person can tell you that’s not something to be proud of but Vernon Dursley was. He dreaded doing anything that involved doing things alone with Vernon but he did it for Petunia’s sake. He wasn’t happy that they were getting married and Vernon was going to be his future son-in-law but there wasn’t anything he could do now. He instead complains about Vernon in secrecy to Mum and me.

“Please don’t remind me. If I have to hear about drills or sales or the selling of a drill one more time, I might go crazy. Or explode.” Dad complained dramatically. Mum rolled her eyes at that.

“I don’t pity you both.” I teased. I prayed that they didn’t notice how nervous I was.

“Trust me, if I had it my way you would be suffering too.” Mum hit him but I could tell she was trying very hard not to smile by Dad’s antics. Dad tried to get out of everything that involved Vernon and Petunia but Mum wouldn’t let him. I secretly think it’s because she doesn’t want to deal with them, especially Vernon, alone either but she hides it very well. It’s become an unspoken inside joke now amongst the three of us about how much he suffers.

“Vernon is a nice young man. He’s going to provide Petunia a great life. We all should be very appreciative.” Mum said while giving us side looks over the rim of her coffee mug. Dad and I exchanged a look and knew exactly where this was going. “He might not be what we… pictured for our precious Petunia but he loves her and he makes her happy. That’s all I could ever want for her. That’s what I’ll want for you too, Lily, when the time comes.” I’ll have to give it to Mum. She knows how to work the feelings department to her advantage.

“We don’t need to talk about that right now. Lilypad can wait for her perfect guy.” Dad grumbled while scowling. He was moving his eggs around on his plate and I felt a pang of guilt. I realized that a small part of the reason Dad refused to be open to liking Vernon was because he was in denial. His little Petunia was old enough to leave the nest and get married then start a family. I could only imagine how Dad is going to be when it gets to be the time where I bring a boy home.

“Your idea of her waiting is until she’s 30.” Mum rolled her eyes.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with waiting that long.” Dad shrugged while trying to look innocent.

“So,” I interrupted before Mum could say something. I needed them to be in good moods while presenting my idea. “Petunia’s planning the wedding. Sounds like you and her will be busy all summer, Mum.”

“Yes!” Mum immediately brightened up. I almost regretted bringing this up. Mum would think I’m interested in helping plan the wedding. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she could envision furthering her agenda of bringing Petunia and me back together in some way. “In fact, Petunia has things planned every week for the summer. Sometimes there’s more than a dozen things we have to do in a week! You can –“

“Wow, more than a dozen? In one week? You’ll regret not hearing about it Dad.”

“Oh yes.” He tried to look regretful. “I’ll miss all the talks of lace, table settings and… cream colored table cloths.” I had to bite my lip from laughing. The biggest debate right now that plagued planning the wedding was whether to add a pop of color in Petunia’s wedding colors. Not surprisingly Petunia was picking neutral shades for her wedding colors. Dad and I couldn’t tell much difference between ivory and cream but Mum and Petunia could.

“So in summary… Mum, you’re busy with Petunia planning and stuff so you’ll hardly be at the house and Dad you’ll be in the States starting next week. I guess that means… I’ll be home alone for the summer.” I stroked the rim of my coffee cup as I made my voice sound sad. I held back my triumphant smile as I got the guilt-ridden looks I was for.

“I won’t be gone _that_ much. Petunia will only call me to come to help with her planning if she needs my opinion or help on something. I doubt it’ll be that much work.” Mum bit her lip . We all knew the unspoken truth that Petunia would want Mum to be there like she has for everything so far in the planning process.

“Lilypad, I’m sorry it has to be this way.” said Dad . He cleared his throat. “I guess I can talk with someone about rearranging the lecture circuit –“

“No! That’s what I wanted to talk to you guys about actually. I was thinking...” I tried to put on my best innocent face on while staring at them. “That I can… Spend the whole summer with Marlene.” They exchanged surprised looks with each other. I wasn’t feeling confident in how this was going.

“Lilypad I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

“I won’t be gone that much from the planning. I can make sure that I’m home for dinner always.” I knew Mum was feeling beyond guilty about this.

“I will call and move things around so things can be easier for all us.” insisted Dad. Mum nodded eagerly.

I groaned because this was not how I imagined this conversation to go. “Look, we all know that I’m going to be alone all summer. Hear me out okay?” I pointedly looked at them as they tried to interrupt me. They closed their mouths and let me continue. “Petunia is going to call you every day about every topic that has to do with the wedding. Even you said that some weeks she has over a dozen things planned for you guys to do. You’ll be in and out of the house. You guys need the space in the house for planning and you know she won’t come here or even stay over if I’m here.” Mum frowned at that comment but she didn’t deny it either. “And Dad, you’ve been dying to get invited to speak at this annual lecture circuit for years now. I’m sure the moment you found out you even cried a little bit.” Dad shot me a withering look. “I couldn’t ask you to miss out on this. I’m going to be honest and say I don’t want to be alone all summer. There’s no point in trying to get involved with wedding planning. I’ve already been banned from it anyway. I don’t have many friends here anymore because I’m gone most of the year. I was thinking I could stay at a friend’s house for the summer. In fact, I’ve even already asked Marlene.” I got the response letter Marlene sent to me this morning which had about several dozen exclamation points, saying I was welcome to stay all summer at her house and that I should come over as soon as possible otherwise she’d come get me herself. I smoothed it out and handed it to them. “Her parents have already agreed to it. Alice Prewitt lives down the street and I’m sure there’s other kids from our school since they live in a wizarding community. All that’s left is you guys saying yes.”

I waited as they stared at the letter. The silence was driving me crazy each passing second. They were shocked by everything I said and I knew why. I wasn’t the type to do something that wasn’t planned out. The overwhelming anxiety from this entire situation was enough for me to never do something spontaneously ever again. “Please?” That caught them off guard even more and then they exchanged looks with each other.

Dad frowned as he stared at the letter. “Marlene’s parents will be there?”

A flicker of hope coursed through me. “Yes!” I exclaimed. I cleared my throat and tried to act a little cooler. “Yes they’ll be there. If they’re not, Alice lives about a ten minute walk away so we’ll always have parental supervision around.” I had no idea what Marlene’s or Alice’s parents did for a living. I didn’t know where or when I’ll see their parents but Mum and Dad didn’t need to know that I didn’t know.

“Do they have phones or…?” Mum and Dad have always been supportive of me being a witch. In fact, they were bursting with pride when I got my Hogwarts letter and found out I had the potential to create more magic than what I've shown that I can do. They were fascinated by every aspect of Diagon Alley and couldn’t wait to go every year for school shopping. I got asked a million questions about school, what I was learning and all my professors. They caught on but the one aspect of the life I live with magic was how we sent our communication through owls. They couldn’t understand how the owls knew where to go and how no one noticed how hundreds of owls were carrying letters all over the place to people.

“In fact, I asked Marlene when I wrote to her and she said they have a phone. I’m sure there’s one at Alice’s too.” I looked between them both as Mum whispered something in Dad’s ear and he whispered something back in hers. They had a mini conversation in front of me. I thought waiting for grades was excruciating but this was torture.

“Well, Lilypad.” They both turned to me and I started ringing my hands. Dad looked so serious and Mum was staring into her mug. All of a sudden Dad grinned. “I guess you better start packing. The McKinnon’s are expecting you.”

-

“I missed you so much!” Marlene yelled in my ear as she body checked me into a hug.

“Oh-fff. Hey Mar.” I laughed in her ear. She pulled back and was grinning ear to ear.

“Friend!” Alice exclaimed as she ran down the stairs. When she reached me, she pulled me in a tight hug. “I can’t believe you, Lily Evans, actually did something on a whim.”

My face got warm. “It wasn’t exactly on a whim.”

“Whatever you say, Lil.” Marlene playfully hit my arm. “C’mon, we’re going to make cookies the muggle way. We’ve already decided that you’re going to be the responsible one and make sure we don’t eat too much cookie dough.” Mar grabbed mine and Alice’s hand and dragged us to the kitchen. I sat at the island in Marlene’s nice kitchen and watched both girls try to begin making cookies. I chuckled as I watched Alice set out all kitchen utensils in a nice orderly fashion while Marlene was reading things off to her. Apparently, she wasn't kidding about making cookies and not watching a house elf make them. Marlene and Alice kept bumping into each other as they tried to get everything in order before they started mixing things even though Marlene’s kitchen could fit our whole year if we tried hard eno9ugh. The only thing missing was Frank Longbottom or Remus Lupin who would’ve teased them with me as we both watched this scene unfold in front of our eyes.

This moment reminded me of how we all met and together. Marlene and I were studying at the same table in the library in the first few weeks we started out at Hogwarts. I didn’t know her but I recognized her from the classes we shared at the time. She shyly asked if I could review her essay. All I could remember was pointing out how she misspelled the word start as ‘sart’ and we both almost got kicked out of the library because were laughing so hard we were in tears. All because of a simple spelling mistake. We became good friends and did a lot of things together after that. A month or so later Marlene had run into Alice because they didn’t know where the girls’ lavatory was and got lost trying to find where it was. Mar connected with Alice immediately over their awkwardness of not knowing where to go and invited her to sit with us at dinner. Alice loved that for once someone got her dry and sarcastic humor. She sat with us at every meal, studied with us when she could and we always walked to class together. Our group grew from two to three and we’ve all been inseparable ever since.

“Do you think these will make big enough cookies, Al?” Marlene asked Alice as she tried to slyly steal some cookie dough with her finger. Alice swatted her hand away and shot her a dirty look. We should've gotten a house elf to do this instead because at this rate we wouldn’t have cookies. She placed the cookie sheet into the oven and wheeled around to look at Marlene mischievously.

“Have you told her yet?” asked Alice.

Mar’s face lit up. “Not yet.” They both turned to look at me with the same mischievous look.

“Told me… what?” All of a sudden I felt uneasy. I love my three best friends, I do, but sometimes their ideas were on the wild side. I had to make sure to keep them under control.

“We’ve come up with a master plan for all of us to do this summer.” Marlene’s eyes sparkled with excitement. Alice was smirking.

“A master plan? What does that even mean?”

“Picture this. You. Alice. Me. Frank if he decides to join in which he will since Alice is doing it. Participating in the Ultimately Spectacular Blowout Summer List.” Marlene was using her hands to show how into the idea she was. Alice was nodding and practically jumping.

 

“The Ultimately Spec- what?” I was looking from Marlene to Alice. Where in the world was this going?

“The Ultimately Spectacular Blowout Summer List. Four friends, also known as us and Frank, participate in a bucket list all summer. We all come up with tasks that we want to do and we all have to complete these tasks before we go back to school in September.” Marlene looked so proud of herself. Alice was still nodding at this point.

“A bucket list. To last all summer.” I repeated. I could picture where this was going and it involved being forced to do some things they only thought would be fun.

Alice groaned. “C’mon Lily. This is our last summer all together for sure. After next year we’ll have no idea when we can all be together again and do these things. This can be fun!”

“Plus Frank has agreed to the idea me and Al came up with because he thought it would be cool to do. It would be incredibly lame of you to not participate.” Marlene looked at me. “So are you in to have fun and let loose for once? Or are you going to be stuck inside waiting to hear if you made Head Girl all summer and be a boring adult?”

I glared at them. I shouldn’t have mentioned about how much I wanted to be Head Girl to them. How could I see them not using that piece of information to their advantage? “Okay, I’m not that bad. You make me out to be like a stick in the mud or something.”

“Don't know what that means but you would be if you didn’t participate.” challenged Marlene. Alice started giggling.

Damn Marlene to hell. She knew how I felt about getting challenged. “Fine.” Marlene and Alice cheered and starting high-fiving each other.

“We’ve already come up with some ideas. Hold on, let me go to my room and we’ll start.” Marlene immediately ran out of the room and up the stairs.

“Promise me this isn’t going to get _too_ crazy.” I pleaded to Alice. She was smirking at me and shrugged. The oven dinged to announce the cookies were done so she went to take them out.

“You already agreed.” Alice said too overly happy as she put more cookie dough on the cookie sheet. “You can’t back out now.”

“Here it is!” Marlene held up a sheet of paper with quite a bit of writing. This “idea” of theirs was something a long time in the making. She rounded the island and slammed the paper on the counter. The loud noise made both me and Alice jump. “Now, Ms. Evans and Ms. Prewitt, I have to remind you that some of these ideas won’t go on the final list. Any and all suggestions much be discussed in length beforehand. If we have to we’ll force a majority vote. Frank, unfortunately, is at our mercy with what becomes of this list since he, by default, will participate because of Alice.” Marlene’s face formed into a gleeful one. “Let’s begin shall we?”

-

“We have nine things on this list.” whined Marlene. “We need at least ten to even this out.”

 

We’ve sat in this kitchen for hours going over this damn list idea they came up with. Marlene became too involved with her idea so Alice was forced to finish the cookies herself. We already went through all of the milk and a lot of the cookies we made because of the list.

“I’m fine with nine things to do.” I was exhausted after this long day. I wanted to slip up into the room that was now mine for the summer. Marlene lived a perfect balance of life out here. Her house was in the lush countryside but the closest city was 20 minutes away so there were always things to do. Every house, including Marlene’s, had large open fields surrounding their houses. Trees were as huge as the houses and scattered around everywhere. The houses nearby were large enough to be mansions. I’m sure all the houses were ten times larger on the inside than by their appearance on the outside. There were houses nearby but not too close. The closest two houses to Marlene’s were Alice’s and another family’s that was within a ten-minute walking distance. That other family’s house was an enormous mansion and exuded grandeur. A lot of people from Hogwarts lived near this area so Mar and Alice weren’t ever too far from a social scene. There was so much to look forward to this summer, plus the list, but all I could think about was sleep and curling up in my bed.

“No, we have to have ten things. This one has to be a group activity to even it out.” asserted Marlene. I groaned. Why was Marlene being so stubborn about this? It was a list and nothing more.

“What do we have so far?” Marlene displayed the list for us to see.

_ The Ultimately Spectacular Blowout Summer List _

_The following items listed below are things that need to be done by at least one or more of the people who have agreed to participate in the list. This list is intended to have fun and the best summer possible. This list needs to be completed by September 1st when those involved go back to their seventh year of schooling to Hogwarts. All items listed have been discussed and agreed upon by the majority of the participants. Certain items are mandatory that all participants must do and have been indicated through stars as such. The following activities need to be done by the decided date are as listed as follows:_

  * _Steal something._


  * _Go on a road trip.*_


  * _Go somewhere after hours._


  * _Do something that we’ve never been done before.*_


  * _Dance until dawn.*_


  * _Share a secret with a stranger._


  * _Go out to stargaze then sleep under the stars._


  * _Crash a muggle party/wedding.*_


  * _Go skinny dipping in the nearby lake._



_All members have agreed to and accepted all these terms._

_Marlene McKinnon_

_Alice Prewitt_

_Lily Evans_

_Frank Longbottom (who will be at our mercy so therefore he agrees)_

“OH!” exclaimed Alice. “I have an idea.” She looked at me and then leaned over and whispered something in Marlene’s ear. Marlene’s eyes widened then sparkled mischievously. They were both grinning like fools about whatever was exchanged. I had no idea what this could end up being.

“So… Is anyone going to share?” I asked, annoyed. “The faster this all ends, the quicker we can go to bed. I would like to do that soon.”

“Thanks for your input, Ms. Evans. To get back to the subject at hand, I have to remind all parties involved that any idea presented is discussed.”

“As you’ve said about hundreds of times.” I grumbled. Marlene glared at me while Alice shook her head. Over time I lost interest in this list and they knew it. I only felt a little guilty that I wasn’t into their idea as I was earlier.

“Alice’s proposed idea is…” They looked at each other and then both turned to me looking happy. “Kiss a Marauder.”

I stared at them incredulously. “What?!” Did I actually hear them say what I think they said? _A Marauder?_

“Kiss a Marauder is what I said. Discussion is open for debate. It will disappoint you to know that Alice and I are already voting in favor of this. Frank’s vote is also counted with Alice’s. Majority vote and all that.”

“How can you guys even vote on something we haven’t even discussed yet?!” I could hear my voice getting shriller with every word. There was no way this one was going on the list.

“Marlene said things were open for discussion. We never agreed that voting needs to happen _after_ discussion.” defended Alice.

I rolled my eyes. Was I the only one who say the flaw in their plan? “It doesn’t even matter anyway. That one isn’t going to work. You’re going to have to come up with a new idea.” Marlene looked up from reviewing the list. Alice’s brow furrowed and tilted her head in confusion. “What?”

“What are you talking about, Lily?” Marlene asked.

“Kissing a Marauder? Even if that was something you voted for, it’s not going to work out. You all said we had to finish this list before the summer was over. It even says so on that piece of paper. The next time we’ll see any of the Marauders is when we go back to Hogwarts which means you have to come up with a new idea for all of us to do. It can’t be a group activity since Alice couldn’t do it because of Frank anyway.” I felt confident in saying that but it went away when they exchanged looks with other. Alice looked nervous. Marlene suddenly became fascinated with the corner of our list. They avoided looking at me.

“I, uh, better get going. My parents will be getting worried that I’m not home yet. Uhm, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Alice immediately booked it out of Mar’s house. Marlene and I heard the front door close and we were left in silence.

“Mar.” Marlene was still fiddling with the corner. “Marlene McKinnon. What is going on? Why are you guys acting this way?”

“You… forgot.” Marlene said awkwardly. She looked at me with an unsure look which was so unlike her.

“I forgot what? What’s going on?”

“Remember when Alice and I were talking about where we were lived? Do you remember that I said a lot of people from Hogwarts lived nearby?”

“Yeah.” I said.

“You know… Longbottom lives a little bit down the road. Granger is his neighbor even! We see him sometimes. And –“

“Mar. Focus.”

She bit her lip and started to twist the ends of her hair like she did when she got nervous. Her face was slowly turning pink. “You noticed how I have two neighbors.” I nodded, trying to figure out where this was going. “One is Alice and the other… Is also a Hogwarts student. One that you know pretty well.”

“Really? No way! We can hang out with them this summer! Who is it?” Marlene stared at me. It was as if she was waiting for something to happen. “Marlene… Who is it?”

“My other neighbors… They’re the Potters... You’re going to be living near Sirius Black and James Potter all summer.”

You have got to be kidding me.


	4. Losing Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter update! Sorry for the wait. I'm going to have to bring spoiler alert number two: Lily still doesn't feel bad about yelling at James and you'll see that come to head in this chapter. This one kinda hurt a little bit just because of all the fighting. You'll see how big of a role Marlene McKinnon is going to play in this story, especially as James' friend, for the rest of the series. Sirius is still a feisty, little angel as per usual and James' loyalty knows no bounds.
> 
> Have fun reading!

James’ POV

“How the fuck did we get dragged into doing this? Are we even _qualified_ to do this? I’m pretty sure we’re not so why are we the ones doing this? Couldn’t she have hired professionals to do this instead?” whined Sirius as he was moving chairs from the house to set up at all the tables strewn out in strategic places.

“You were the one who convinced Mum to postpone the annual cookout to tonight instead of last week. You know it’s always the week after we come back from Hogwarts because that’s how she likes it. You threw us out to hungry trolls on that one.” I said as I was concentrating on hanging the lights in the exact spot Mum wanted them to be at. If one light was misplaced, I would get a lecture on how to follow directions.

“I wasn’t made to work hard. Only admired like the piece of art I am.” He continued dramatically.

I sighed knowing that I would be hearing his complaining until people started showing up later. It’s been three long weeks since we came back from Hogwarts. Three long weeks since I decided to give up on Lily Evans and move on with my life as if I hadn’t been in love with her since the moment I saw her. Every day since the train ride home I thought I was making progress in that area but early last week Mum made Sirius’s favorite homemade strawberry jam. The whole house smelled like Lily’s shampoo and it was like I was living in my own personal torture chamber. I couldn’t get Lily out of my head for days and was miserable about it. Sirius declared right then and there the first day of the plan to get over Lil – I mean _Evans_ – was going into motion at the Potter annual cookout. The cookout was always the big start to an unforgettable summer for us. This year I wasn’t as excited for the start of summer for reasons I couldn’t explain. Sirius was too excited to get the plan going after this cookout was over. He was convinced that the plan would work because after tonight Remus was a Potter for the rest of the summer. Remus doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into by being here until September. If anyone wasn’t convinced that Sirius was part dog by now, they would’ve been after seeing him so excited this past week.

“Are you hoping that mystery girl will be a part of the crowd admiring you then?” I felt something solid send a jolt on the side of my body and looked down to see an apple tumbling to the ground. I tried to contain my laughter. “Didn’t realize that was still a touchy subject, mate.”

“It’s not a touchy subject. It’s not _even_ a subject we talk about so there’s no touchiness anywhere.” said Sirius defensively.

I turned my head to look at him and smirked. “So changing the cookout to the same day when a certain blonde came back from France isn’t a coincidence?” This time I ducked out of the way of the next apple being thrown at me. At this point I couldn’t contain my laughter any longer from thinking about the craziness of the entire situation. Mum about imploded on herself when Sirius mentioned about postponing the cookout until today. The annual Potter cookout was something she planned for _weeks_ in advance and then Sirius comes in and wants to change the day without an explanation about why. There was a split second where she contemplated about wanting to kill him because the cookout was her territory.

He wouldn’t admit it to Mum and definitely not to me his reasons why. I think it had something to do with his last hookup with Amber Marchbanks judging from the nauseating too-explicit letter I found in his room saying she’ll be home from France soon. Marlene confirmed it herself and almost took my head off when I mentioned I was asking for Sirius. She also came over to confirm for the twelfth year in a row that her mum was in fact bringing what she always brought to the cookout once again. He about fell over from happiness learning this information – mostly about Marchbanks but more than likely about Marlene’s mum food. It took a while and a lot of puppy dog looks from Sirius then Mum finally gave in; but, Sirius and I have faced her wrath since then. We’ve been subjected to set up duty for today’s punishment.

“Marchbank’s coming back today? Didn’t realize that was today.” said Sirius, pretending to be making the chairs look straight at the table.

Is that the game we’re playing today? Oh you’re on, Padfoot. “When are you going to admit you like her? As in, more than usual?” Sirius looked like he was about to pick up a chair and beat me with it.

“Jamie dear!” What Sirius was going to say was interrupted by Celestina, Marlene’s mum. Marlene’s mum was an exact replica of Marlene, except she was older, had shorter, blond curly hair, and was more plump. Her and my Mum were best friends since they both had the same passions as each other: baking the muggle way, playing hostess and their children. It didn’t help that Mum and Amy were a short walk from each other in distance.

Mar and I grew up together since both of our Mums were always together. We were dragged to each other’s houses every other day because of it for play dates. Celestina would claim me as her own child if anyone asked her if I was her son and Mum would claim Marlene as her own daughter. Marlene and I weren’t best friends like I was with Sirius but we had a different sort of friendship that comes with knowing each other since we were toddlers. We were each other’s siblings minus the actually being related part. Celestina was carrying a huge plastic tub filled with her assigned dish to bring to the cookout: her delicious chocolate chip cookies. Marlene and Alice wouldn’t be far behind with their own plastic tubs filled to the rim with cookies. Even though those tubs would be filled with thousands of cookies, they would all be gone by the time the night was over. “Where should we put these cookies?”

“You better check with Mum because we’re already paying for our crimes.” I indicated to the tables and lights.

She gave us a knowing look while giving us her trademark grin. “You boys should’ve known better to mess with Euphemia’s business.” She had a hearty laugh. “I’ll go look for her then. C’mon ladies! We need to keep these cookies warm for the cookout later!”

I tried very hard to not laugh at the eager expression that flew across Sirius’s face. He caught me smirking at him and his face starting turning bright red. He pretended to go back to work by being motivated to straightening a chair that didn’t need to be straightened. I could tell he was trying to look out for her from the side of his eyes. I snickered, knowing that Remus and I were going to have a blast tonight teasing the hell out of Sirius. A laugh broke through the air, interrupting my thoughts, and it felt like time stopped.

_I knew that laugh._

That was the laugh that made my heart skip a beat. That was the laugh I wished I could cause. That was the laugh that was music to my ears. It was Lily Evan’s laugh. My chest felt like it was caving in and my breathing became labored. _You’re imagining it. You need to get your shit together. That’s not Lily’s laugh and she’s not actually here. That was something you imagined in your head._

“James…” I didn’t have to turn around to see what Sirius saw to change the tone of his voice. Lily Evans was here. She was going to be at the cookout tonight and I was in trouble.

-

“OW.” Marlene angrily yelped when I shoved her into my room. She glared at me as she rubs the spot on her arm that I was grabbed. “What was that for?”

“What the hell is _she_ doing here?” I demanded. I was trying to take deep breaths to keep calm. The dim glow from the lights hanging in the trees were lighting up my room. People were starting to arrive in packs and you could hear the low thrum of conversations coming from outside.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She was looking at me like I was crazy but she couldn’t fool me. “Mar, I’ve known you since we were two. I know when you’re lying to my face. What the hell is she doing here?”

“If you’re talking about that new girl who moved in next to Longbottom, I have no idea why she’s here. Her name is Tiffany or Stephanie or something like that. I mean did you see what she was wearing?” Her nose scrunched up in disgust.

A new family came to the cookout tonight. The husband and wife were nice but were a little awkward and overwhelmed at being the newcomers. They had a daughter our age who was coming to Hogwarts for her last year of schooling so they were the gossip of the night. I’ve overheard girls weren’t happy about her and the guys couldn’t keep their eyes off her. I hadn’t seen her but from what Sirius told me it was some kind of low-cut Muggle summer dress. She was described to me as ‘the ultimate smoking hot babe.’ I could tell by the look in Sirius’s eye he had something up his sleeve and for once I didn’t want to be a part of it. He ran off before I could stop him from doing anything stupid and impulsive. That’s when I spotted Marlene and dragged her up to my room.

It took everything in me at this moment not to scream at Marlene. My fingers curled into fists and I had to stare at the ceiling to prevent myself from not hitting the wall. “I’m not talking about her. I could care less about what she’s wearing or if she’s Tiffany or Stephanie.”

“At least _you and Remus_ are gentlemen and acting normal about it.” Marlene’s face immediately turned pink with anger at the subtle dig at Sirius. If I was in my normal state I would make fun of her for it like I have been for years now over her stupid rivalry with him but I was too furious to think about anything but the fact that Lily was downstairs. I felt like I was going to explode.

“Mar, I don’t-“

“Like seriously? Who comes to a cookout wearing something like that? My mum or Euphemia would kill me before I even thought about wearing that out of the house. You should _hear_ some of the things some of the guys in our year are saying about he-”

“Marlene, what the fucking hell is Lily Evans doing here?”

There was a long silence as she took a moment to process what I said. Marlene rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air. Her face was a mixture of confusion and annoyance. “Is _that_ what you’re going on about? Half of Hogwarts is downstairs and you’re wondering why Lily’s here? She was invited. I figured you’d be having a million orgasms at the thought of Lily being so near your house.”

“No she was not invited.” I said. Even though the Potter annual cookout was Mum’s thing I was her assistant long before I complained about it enough to get out of helping to plan it. I knew every single drop of food that was made and brought, every single decoration that was put out and set up and every single process that happened to make sure the cookout ran smoothly from the beginning to the moment the last person left. More importantly I knew exactly who was invited and who wasn’t. There wasn’t an official list but the same people were invited and those same people always showed up every year. Lily Evans never came to the cookout, despite Marlene’s many pleas for the past couple of years. “Last time I checked, I didn’t invite her here this year.”

“ _We_ invited her – as in me and my mum – to come and she said yes. Didn’t realize it was invitation only from the Potter’s only.” said Marlene coldly.

“It’s not. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Are you sure? You said she wasn’t invited. Or rather, you didn’t invite her. Are my friend’s not good enough for your party?” She folded her arms over her chest. She wasn’t going to back down from this fight if it depended on her. I could imagine how this was going to go and I had to reel it in before it got out of hand.

“That’s not what I meant, Mar.” I said through my teeth. “I want to know why she’s here. Last time I checked, she was invited to cookouts in the past and she declined our invitations.”

“You mean she declined _your_ past invitations.” Marlene shot back. “Is your ego that large that someone can’t be here without your permission? Didn’t realize you actually thought of yourself as King James.”

“That’s. Not. What. I. Meant.” I growled through my frustrations. I had to grip the edge of my desk so I could concentrate on not yelling at her stubbornness. If this turned into a blowout match between me and Mar, our mum’s would never forgive us for disrupting the festivities downstairs. I thought the wrath I’ve been facing for the past week was horrible but it would be a million times worse if this turned into anything bigger than what it was now. Nothing would be more embarrassing than for anyone but Marlene to know what this conversation was actually about.

“Tell me what you actually mean then because what you’re implying is that my friends aren’t as good as your friends.”

“Marlene, don’t put words in my mouth.” I said. “You know that’s not what I said.”

“So Lily thinks independently from the rest of Hogwarts and now she’s not good enough to be invited to your parties. I know we grew up together and everything but you’re being a downright prick right now. I can’t believe that-”

“Marlene.” My voice came out all hoarse and scratchy. This was getting close to being too much. The room felt too small and it was closing in on me. It felt like the room started to tilt as if the world itself was turning upside down.

“You can’t get over the fact that out of any girl you could have, Lily is the only one who has ever said no to you.” Mar continued her rant without noticing I said a single word. “She can date whoever the hell she wants. Has it ever occurred to you that she doesn’t actually like you because of the way you act around her? You act like what you’re acting like right now to her all the damn time. You’re a great person and Lily would know that if you had a little bit of sense and acted normal. Has it not occurred to you that she isn’t interested because you act like this? Or that she deserves someone who doesn’t treat her like a downright arrogant git? I mean, are you telling me that you don’t understand why Lily has been saying no all these years? I mean, god are you thinking that-”

“YES I FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT.” I exploded. There sounded like there was a pause from the thrum of conversation downstairs but it continued after nothing else happened. Marlene’s face transitioned into complete shock. Her mouth popped open in the shape of an O. The hard reality of the situation made everything tense. I had to squeeze my eyes because it almost helped make me forget the fact I almost lost control.

“Why do you think I’m acting this way?” I could barely get anything out above a whisper. I felt the prickle of tears coming on and starting to pool in my eyes. I had to bite my lip to concentrate on not crying in front of Marlene.

“I…” It was rare that Marlene didn’t have something to say about anything. She was always ready to slide in a witty comment at any moment of the day. I mean she had opinions about fucking pockets in women’s dress robes for god’s sake. She wasn’t the one to be left speechless. What I said completely threw her off.

“She broke my heart.” My voice finally came back but it was cracking at every other word. Tears were threatening to spill. “Mar, she … She didn’t care that she did it either. She took my heart and broke it into a million pieces then scattered it everywhere in front of everyone we knew to see. It was like… It was so easy for her. So natural. Not only that but… She acted like _I_ was the one who called her that word. Me of all people, not Snape. She made me sound like I was some… Some unlovable _monster_. I tried everything. I tried so hard to get her to even consider me a friend from the very first day. You and I both know that I was myself way more than what you’ve said. Nothing changed. I tried my hardest to be friends and all I got was heartbreak in return. It’s… It’s not…” As much as I tried I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my face. My voice went back to nothing but a whisper.

Marlene was standing there dumbfounded while watching me as I cried. Despite growing up together, we were both headstrong in our feelings. It was rare that either of us got emotional in front of the other. Especially to the point of tears. It came from our younger selves wanting to prove who was tougher and who could endure the most. It took a lot for both of us to be pushed over the edge like this and I’m sure this was the first time in years that I cried in front of her.

“You…” Her brow furrowed as if she was trying to figure out what she was going to say. “You weren’t kidding. All these years. You weren’t joking or being obnoxious. You actually… You love Lily don’t you?”

I winced at her observation. It hurt having to hear the truth spoken out loud. “Yes. I’ve loved Lily Evans since the moment I saw her when we were eleven. Anything I ever said about my feelings toward her was never a lie. I thought you knew me better than that, Mac.”

“James, I…”

I took a few steps forward so we were standing close to each other. “Mar, you have to help me.” I pleaded weakly. I grabbed both her arms and made her stare into my eyes. “I have to get over her.”

“Oh… _Oh._ I don’t know…” She bit her lip. It was no secret to me that for years Marlene encouraged me to win over Lily despite being protective over either of us in her weird way. Marlene was so confident in her beliefs that we were meant to be and how one day we were going to fall in love. She’s always joked for years on how she picked out china, flowers, and the venue even for our wedding. Mar was as open as the books she read and you could always tell what she was feeling through her facial emotions. I knew, deep down, she was fighting a war of conflicted feelings of wanting to get us together and wanting to be follow through with my wishes. I prayed that knowing each other all our lives would win out to her loyalty. It had to.

  


“Marlene… Please… I can’t do this anymore. It’s gone too far now. I can’t go through this again. It’s… Heartbreak is the worst thing imaginable. I wouldn’t even wish it on Snape.” It surprised me on how much I meant my last sentence. Snape was an asswipe for so many reasons but no one deserved this. “Help me get over her.”

  


Marlene stared at me for the longest time. I’m sure it was like I was a new person to her now. I shifted a little bit because her stare was so intense like she was studying me. I felt uncomfortable at being so vulnerable and open about my emotions with her despite us practically being siblings. Even though it was dead silent in my room, it felt like everything was so loud and bright in that moment. My head started to throb at each passing second that still remained silent. I wanted to fill the maddening silence but my tongue had turned into lead to prevent me from speaking.

  


“I will if you can answer one question.” she said quietly. I exhaled. I hadn’t realized I had stopped breathing altogether, waiting for a response caused me to instinctively hold my breath. My tongue was still lead so all I could do was nod. I could see her hesitating, which also wasn’t something Marlene did. This question had to be thought out and it terrified me to know Marlene had to think it over before asking. “Do you think… you’ll be happier without her?”

  


The question threw me off guard. No one had asked me that. I hadn’t even considered that side of things. Was there happiness in a reality without Lily Evans? “I… don’t know. But I have to try. For her sake. If not for hers, then for mine. I can’t do this anymore.” Marlene nodded as if my answer was satisfactory enough for her and turned her head to the window. I could tell that she was thinking about the entirety of what I said and what I was asking her to do. She sighed deeply as if this conversation exhausted her to the core. Her eyes connected with mine . I couldn’t tell if it was because it was pitch black in my room except for the dim glow but there was a look in her eye that I didn’t recognize. All I could was wait for her response. _Please help me,_ I pleaded in my head over and over again.

Her face broke out to give me a small smile as if she could read my mind. She took one of my hands to squeeze it. “I’ll help you.”

-

“You think she would feel better now the cookout’s going but _no._ ” I grumbled as I was finding the utensils Mum used to make the lemonade.

After my conversation with Mar, it was like an enormous weight was taken off my body. I hadn’t felt so good and so light in such a long time. If there was anyone who could help me, it was her. She was basically my sister and knew me better than Sirius sometimes. She would know what to do about my situation. I was confident and so sure about that. I couldn’t wait for the first time I could try and be friends with Lily now.

Once we got back downstairs and outside to the festivities, Mum pounced on me as if she was waiting for me to appear. She asked me to refill the lemonade in a tone that implied I had didn’t have an option to say no. I didn’t object because I was no idiot when it came to my Mum. Then she had to pull the fast one on me and ask me to make the lemonade _by hand_. I about refused but the look in her eye said _you owe me one for putting off the get-together._ Now I was stuck in the kitchen making some damn lemonade. I was measuring out sugar for all the dozens of individual pitchers I could find in our huge kitchen when I heard the back door open. I didn’t bother to see who it was because I was motivated to finish quickly by the fact I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten yet tonight and I doubt I would be getting the opportunity to anytime soon. I might as well die of starvation now.

“Do you need help?”

I jumped which almost made me knock over a glass pitcher with the measuring cup full of sugar. I looked up to see Lily Evans standing in our kitchen looking at me with an unreadable expression. The world melted away and I completely forgot about everything I promised myself. It was like my mind was moving a mile a minute yet not working at the same time. I mentally cursed in my head. There was nothing more than in this moment where I wish I could speak but I couldn’t. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to not be alone together without someone to at least balance us out. I realized how pretty she was in this moment, in her simple white lacy sundress and curled hair. It looked like she even had makeup on which she never needed because she was gorgeous without it. Images of us dancing under the twinkling lights outside started playing my head, us laughing while spinning, me smelling her perfume as I pull her closer... How could I fucking forget everything that I promised myself? _Goddamn it James, get your shit together. She’s a girl and her name happens to be Lily Evans. That doesn’t make her any more special than Marlene. She’s a friend – no she’s a regular girl. Here is your moment to start getting over her so don’t fuck this up._

I cleared my throat as I became very aware I had yet to respond to her question. “Oh uhm… No, that’s okay.” I could barely stand the fact she was in the same room with me, alone, so god only knows what would happen if she was standing close to me. I had to push the immediate thought of pushing her up against the counter and snogging the shit out of her in the privacy of our kitchen out of my head. I felt prickles of uneasiness across my skin when I saw her face transform into one of annoyance at my answer. It reminded me about what happened at the lake and if I knew Lily as well as I did, then she hadn’t stopped thinking about it. I had to remember that the ultimate goal of my plan was to get over her and even be friends if it ended okay. It wouldn’t help anyone if I already messed that up on the first time I could actually fix things between us. “It’s if my Mum knew I let a guest do anything but be a guest, I wouldn’t live to see tomorrow.”

“James Potter, afraid of his mother. Interesting concept to imagine.”

“Trust me if you lived with her the past week, knowing that we had to prepare for the annual cookout, you would be afraid of my Mum too.” I started to grind the lemon juice out of the lemons to avoid looking at her. Having my hands occupied made the thought of continuing this conversation so much easier yet I prayed that it ended soon.

“I doubt she was that bad.”

“Okay picture this. My mum but is a fire breathing dragon mixed with a hungry lion hybrid who is ready to bite your head off at any given moment.”

I was surprised at how Lily laughed at my comment. I couldn’t remember in the entire time we’ve known each other if I ever made her laugh at all. I fantasized about a lot of things Lily and I would do if we ever got together, but none of them was as sweet as this moment where I made her laugh. I realized that this was the longest conversation we’ve ever had where she hasn’t yelled at me or insulted me or even ran away from me. Talking to her without somehow making her mad was a lot easier than I ever expected. I guess it helped that there were no Slytherins around to hex or any pranks done beforehand. I had to remember not to let my growing confidence make this nice moment backfire on me.

“You laugh, but it was terrifying. I’m pretty sure there was a solid five minutes where she plotted Padfoot’s murder.”

“What did he do?” She asked suspiciously. It threw me off that she chose to stay and continue talking with me instead of leaving to go back to the party. She was so close that all I had to do was stretch my arm over the pitchers and I could stroke her cheek. I had to remember to thank whatever patron saint for this opportunity to make things right at the end of the night.

“He convinced mum to postpone the annual cookout.” I’m not sure what answer Lily was expecting from me but what I said wasn’t it judging by her surprised look. I shrugged. “I don’t even know how that ended up being possible because the annual cookout is one of her children. She takes it super seriously. I wish I was kidding when I said that she plotted Padfoot’s death or at least considered it.”

“So Black can charm even mothers.”

“Oh god, don’t say it like that.” I shook my head to make the waves of nausea coming stop rolling in my stomach. “I mean, yeah he can but _not like that._ He had a reason to want to postpone the annual cookout.”

“Of course. The Marauders, even one of them, can’t do something without an excuse for something bigger planned.” She said flatly.

“If you must know, I’m pretty sure that reason was for Marchbanks.” I said. It still stung that she always immediately assumed the worst of us, especially me. I remember for years thinking that if she ever got to know me, she wouldn’t say these things but I guess old habits die hard.

“Marchbanks? As in _Amber Marchbanks_?” When I looked up from my lemon grinding I saw Lily looking at me suspiciously again. I’m sure she thought I was pulling some elaborate prank on her and she wasn’t sure where it was going. Lily was a lot like Marlene on being an open book with her emotions. Her eyes wandered to the window in the kitchen and I knew she was plotting her escape. She didn’t have to say it but her body language showed how she thought me being nice in the past five minutes was all a trick.

My anger flared up at that. Why did she have to be this way? “I didn’t stutter, Evans. Plus don’t act so surprised. Everyone knows that Padfoot has been mad for her for a while now. It’s no secret.”

“He has _not_.” She was glaring at me know, her tone turning into ice. “Black has no void of human emotions.”

“Sirius is fine at _feeling_ things. He has a hard time expressing them in a… proper way.” I noticed angrily at how I ran out of lemons to grind so I had no choice but to either look at Lily or walk around the counter to be near her to continue making the lemonade. I wanted to do neither but punch a wall. Lily could insult me all she wanted but I’ll be fucking damned if she tears into Sirius for no absolute reason.

“Black only likes a girl who doesn’t have a thought or a will to say no. It’s not surprising he’s going after someone like _Marchbanks_. Everyone knows she’s the female version of Black. He doesn’t even deserve her, if you ask me.” said Lily, as if it was a fact from one of our textbooks.

“He doesn’t deserve her? How about Marchbanks doesn’t deserve him.” I growled. How the hell could I lose control twice in one day? One fight with Mar and then one with Lily? What kind of person am I becoming?

“Excuse me?” Her voice went up several octaves.

“You heard me, _Lily Evans.”_ I spat. “I didn’t stutter. I said that your statement is false and even Amber fucking Marchbanks doesn’t deserve him. He likes her and that’s all I need to know about supporting whatever weird thing they have.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Her voice went up several more octaves. Her face was turning an awful purple red color that didn’t go well with her hair. In fact, her hair made it look like she was on fire with how angry she looked. “Where do you get off–”

“Second year. Bellatrix jumps this poor Hufflepuff girl her first week here, threatens to kill her for not succumbing to her wishes like everyone else, and Sirius stands up in front of his family for the first time. He risked his already shitty relationship with his family because of some new girl we didn’t even know. He threatened to kill them if they ever approached her again. It was nothing your little squad ever did with that timid show of standing up to them at the time. It was all Sirius that made them back off. Third year, we were learning to ward off those goddamn boggarts. Do you remember how Marlene ran out of the room when it was her turn and no one knew where the hell she went? Yeah, Sirius found her and comforted her. He made sure Mar was okay and that she looked decent before coming back to class. He knew that if she went back to class looking like she’d been bawling, anyone in our year would have a field day with that since she’s a McKinnon. She wouldn’t have walked through the halls without getting spooked for weeks, even from the other people in Gryffindor. In fourth year when Sirius found out Frank was trying to ask Alice out, he took the time to get them together even though he didn’t have to. Alice and Sirius formed a study group and Sirius invited Frank so Alice and Frank Longbottom wouldn’t even be a thing without Sirius. When Alice’s cousin Molly Prewett found out that Voldemort guy was on the rise in fifth year and she couldn’t sleep because of worrying about her brothers who were Aurors, Sirius would talk to her and make her favorite tea before she went to bed for a solid month since Arthur Weasley couldn’t with his project for Muggle Studies back in fifth year.”

“But he–”

“Let me guess, you’re going to say he’s fucked every girl in our year. Has it never occurred to you that he focuses on every other girl because maybe there’s one girl he wants who won’t give him the time of day? Did Emmaline Vance ever tell you that Sirius asked her out? Back in fourth year? I finally get him to have the courage to at least ask out a girl for a change and he actually, for once, listens to me and you wanna know what she said? She told him she couldn’t go out with someone who her roommates don’t like and don’t get along with because she doesn’t want to deal with drama everyday. Seeing as how Alice and Marlene are perfectly fine with Sirius, all that’s left of her roommates is you. She listened to your opinion rather than her own. Because _Lily Evans_ has the only opinion that matters!”

“Hey!” Her face scrunched up in anger. I could see the wheels turning in her head on what to say. Not today, Evans. You’re not controlling this conversation.

“NO. I am _not_ going to stand here and let you insult Sirius like that. You have no idea who he is and what he’s gone through. _He’s a good person._ So is Remus. So is Peter. So am I. The Marauders are a lot more than who you think we are. But you wouldn’t fucking know that because from day one you wrote us off as bad news. Ever since then you couldn’t lower yourself down to at least get to know us. If you knew half the shit we’ve done over the years, I bet you’d be saying different things. You want me to be honest like you were at the lake? Then you’re pretty self-centered yourself. You would rather hold onto your pride so you can always be right than be proven even slightly wrong. You think you know me and who I am but you don’t. You’re Lily Evans who thinks she knows everything but you actually don’t. Not about Sirius and definitely not about me. If you’d look up from a book long enough you’d notice that.”

Lily’s jaw dropped open. She tried to say something but all that came out was unintelligible stutters. How was it that in this moment that her not being able to speak so irritating? Why was it in this moment I still thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life?

“Izzy!” I barked. Our house elf appeared before us. Unlike normal house elves, Izzy was considered family and was dressed appropriately. I could tell by the look on her face that wherever she was before I called her that she was listening. That meant people outside could hear us and I would hear it from Mum in the morning. At this moment, I didn’t care. My head hurt like I drank a whole bottle of strong firewhiskey. I felt so angry that I was shaking. I had to grip the counter so I could at least speak properly. “Finish making the lemonade, please. I’m not in the mood to join the festivities.” I about turned around and left the kitchen, but then realized that Lily was still standing there. “Oh, and please escort Evans back out to the party. We’re done here."

I went upstairs to my bedroom, trying to block out the fact that this plan wasn’t off to a good start. What the hell was I getting myself into?


	5. Friends or Foes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with an update for you guys! Marlene and Alice get a bigger role in this chapter so you can see how their group operates as both friends and individually. Also, you get to see how Lily feels (or begins to feel) about James because of her friends. Also, speaking of our friendly neighborhood Prongs, the boys including Frank make another infamous appearance. I hope you all enjoy this chapter like I did.
> 
> Comments, feedback, kudos, etc. are all appreciated!

Lily’s POV

“I’m just _saying_. We haven’t done anything in practically forever. We _have_ to do something tonight.” declared Marlene before shoving a handful of cereal into her mouth. Marlene was the only person I knew that ate cereal dry without milk. She’s tried for years to convince us that it was the best way to eat cereal but no one ever bought it.

“We can go to that movie in the park in the city! They always have muggle movies going every night of the weekend!” I could imagine Marlene and Frank being fascinated by the moving pictures

Alice immediately shook her head with her eyes widening. “No. I checked the schedule you brought already and they’re playing horror movies tonight. I am not wetting my knickers in public.”

“Oh, so you’ll get wet for Longbottom in private but not for everyone else. I don’t see how that’s fair, Al.” Marlene waggled her eyebrows. Alice gasped then reached over and swatted at her which started a mini fight.

I watched the scene unfold before me in annoyance. I turned to walk towards Marlene’s freezer to get something to drink. I went through the motions of getting everything out while they continued bickering in the background. I wanted to mention how immature it was for Marlene to bring Alice’s intimate life with Frank into this but I honestly didn’t want to fight _another_ battle this morning. If I even mentioned anything I wouldn’t hear the end of how _I_ was being the unreasonable one yet again. It’s been like that every single day this week where I’ve gotten attacked for being honest and speaking my mind. I wish I had a clue about why everything set me off on a tantrum spree but I didn’t have a clue. It’s just… everything was so insufferable and annoying lately to the point it gave me raging headaches. I started pouring into the cup I got out and started to wonder why they couldn’t be nice to each other for a change.

“You got enough there, Lil?” Marlene’s voice broke my concentrated thoughts. I instinctively jerked my hand and sent not only liquids flying everywhere but it also knocked my cup over, splashing all over the girls. Alice squealed while Marlene fell out of her seat trying to avoid getting wet. Now there was a giant puddle spreading on Marlene’s counter. Both girls looked like they decided to go swimming on a whim with their clothes on.

I looked down at the pitcher in my hand. My eyes settled on the little of the light-yellow liquid left in the pitcher. Memories filled my head and I wanted to chuck this pitcher at the wall so I didn’t have to ever see it again. _Fucking lemonade_. “It’s everywhere.” I growled.

Why was _he_ always in my life?

“Yeah. That was our lemonade.” said Marlene slowly. “It’s okay. We can get our house elves to clean it and–“

“No, I’ll clean this up. Of fucking course it was _lemonade._ Fate thinks it’s so goddamn funny.” I practically yelled. I stomped over to the closest washrag I saw and yanked it out of its holder, which caused the cabinet door to loudly cause a slamming noise. I walked back to the counter and starting cleaning. I hoped that by cleaning every bit of that light-yellow liquid would also clean every speck of memory of Potter and that night out my head. The kitchen felt like a furnace and I’m sure my face was bright red. I was angrily wiping the counter when I realized how quiet the kitchen had become. I looked up to see both Marlene and Alice looking at me as if I was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Marlene’s house elves were peaking around the corner to see what was happening. Their looks made me feel even angrier than I was before. “ _What?”_

“Lily, it’s okay. It was a mistake. Any one of us could have done this. We’re not angry with you.” Alice said. Her brow furrowed with worry and her eyes showed her obvious concern. Alice always had the kindest yet passionate heart out of anybody I knew. She was always willing to help and be there for anybody whether they asked for it or not. For her, it was like there were no houses at Hogwarts and everyone plain students with no affiliations or loyalties. She treated everyone the same so everyone respected her in a way that was awe inspiring. Even Slytherins treated her at least somewhat kindly when Malfoy and his crew weren’t around. It came with the Prewett last name and the fact she was dating Frank Longbottom, another pureblood. Any other moment I would’ve found her concern touching but she was tiptoeing around me and looking at me like I was crazy which infuriated me. I am _not_ crazy.

“I _know_ that. You all can stop looking at me like I’m crazy because I’m _not_ crazy. I’m capable of cleaning this up without any help.” I snapped back and I noticed the house elves hiding around the corner wince. Alice’s shoulders slumped a little and I knew I hurt her feelings by snapping at her once again but in this moment I didn’t even care. Of course _Potter_ would find a way to ruin everything and he wasn’t even fucking present for it.

“Okay, that was a little uncalled for.” said Marlene, pushing back her shoulders. Marlene was a future lawyer in the making and she could fight with anyone for hours. Her tone always changed when she got into lawyer-fighter mode. Anyone could recognize that tone from a mile away she was ready to fight. It’s how she was able to handle herself by being the only girl on Gryffindor’s Quidditch team. If she wanted a fight though, she was getting one because I wasn’t backing down on this.

“Let me guess. _I’m_ the bad guy again. Fantastic. Lay it all on me.”

“That’s not what I said. All I meant was the way you reacted to Al was uncalled for. You could’ve said that a lot nicer than the way you did.”

“Sounds like you’re saying I’m the bad guy. I didn’t even _say_ anything that bad!”

“Well now you’re yelling at us for no reason and looking like a wild banshee while doing so. I would say you’ve gone off the deep end.” snapped Marlene. She hardly ever broke in an argument. Marlene was always calm and collected through most things, no matter what was thrown at her. If anyone ever threw her off, she never let it show to those watching. I knew that fighting with me was shaking her to her core because this wasn’t one of those types of arguments where she was practicing for her future career. She was angry with me and how I was behaving. Arguing with any one of us was not something she wanted to ever do. In fact, she tried to avoid debating with us as much because of the fact.

“So basically–”

Marlene smacked her hand on the counter to interrupt our argument. The loud smack made us all jump. She was glaring at me and it looked like she wanted to tear me apart. “What is _your_ problem?”

“Excuse me?” I sputtered. Alice sank back in her seat, with wide eyes, at Marlene’s sudden outburst of anger.

“You heard me. What is _your_ problem?”

“I don’t have a problem, Marlene. I got a little upset with the lemonade –”

“No. You’ve snapped at everything. Nothing we’ve done or said is to your liking. We’ve had to tiptoe around you all week. You’ve been mean and nasty to us for no reason whatsoever. What the hell happened at the Potter’s party?”

“Nothing happened at the party.” I said. I realized that my defensive tone and how quickly I answered that wouldn’t go unnoticed but prayed it would. My hand instinctively curled into the towel and I was gripping it so tight that my knuckles turned white. None of them needed to know the annoying argument Potter and I had. I tried to get over it the moment it ended when I was humiliatingly ushered out of his kitchen. I tried to forget about it. Because I was trying to avoid thinking about it, most things would pop up that kept making me think about what happened. I hated the fact that it did and how it was a way that Potter had something over my head. All I did was ask to help that ungrateful toerag for him to yell unnecessary insults at me. I didn’t even deserve to be called anything. For _him_ to say I was self-centered… Ugh it infuriated me to the point I wanted to explode.

“Oh don’t pull that shit on me, Lily. You’ve been acting this way since the party so something happened that made you this way. You might as well share what it is because if this is how you’re acting for the rest of the summer then please let us know because, trust me, I’m not going to deal with this nicely if you’re not.”

“Like I said. Nothing happened at the party.” I said.

“You are letting it on us for some spilled lemonade then.” muttered Alice.

Marlene’s eyes widened as if she realized something with Alice’s comment. She started to smirk and leaned forward to make sure our gazes weren’t broken. Alice was watching us, not daring to miss a single second in what could happen. A pit formed in my stomach because I could tell she knew. Damn, how did she always find everything out? “What do you have against lemonade?”

“I have nothing against lemonade. I hate that it got everywhere.”

“So your being against lemonade has nothing to do with the fact that a certain boy was in charge of making lemonade at the Potter’s party. That certain boy being James Potter.” Alice’s mouth dropped open in shock at Marlene’s statement. Her face went from annoyed anger to complete shock. Her eyes got so wide I thought they would pop out of her head.

“I had no idea he was in charge of the lemonade. Even if I was, why would I care about what Potter was doing? Last time I checked I never did.” I said.

“For someone who claims she doesn’t care, you’re being awfully touchy about it.” said Alice. I could tell by her tone that she thought Marlene was onto something. She tilted her head and was studying me. Why the hell did I ever think becoming friends with the two most observant girls on the planet was a good idea?

“I don’t.” I insisted. “Can we stop talking about this?” Alice’s head kept bouncing from the three of us like it was an interesting Quidditch match.

“Interesting because you were in the house for quite a bit after James was ordered by Euphemia to make lemonade.” Marlene ignored me. While her demeanor gave off the vibe she was being nonchalant about all this, her tone showed how upset she was by all this.

“And you know this how?” asked Alice curiously. I was curious myself. That party was so busy that I was sure no one would notice that I left for five minutes.

Marlene shrugged. “We grew up together. We grew up learning how to plan and _survive_ those crazy ass parties. That means developing an irrational fear of our mums respectively. Euphemia asked him to make the lemonade and he was smart enough to not say no. I saw Lily walk in not too long after that. It’s not that hard to put two and two together.”

“James Potter? Afraid of his mum?” Alice asked. Out of all Marlene’s statements, that was the one that stood out to her.

“We all knew Potter had to have a weakness. We didn’t know it would be that one detail in particular. I don’t see why that’s relevant.” I drawled out. “I get it. I’ll start acting nicer. If we have to start talking about _him_ then I get what you’re all trying to say.” I wanted this conversation to end. I also wanted to tuck everything about that annoying, petulant boy away in a dark corner that we never visit again. The fact we had one more year of school with him was unbearable to think about and made me want to puke all over Marlene’s counter.

“What happened with James?” Marlene demanded.

“What do you mean?” No. No. No. We’re not talking about it.

“You went from being completely angry to very defensive to wanting to tuck everything away in a box like it never happened. Something happened with James Potter but for some reason you’re not telling us about it.”

Alice’s head whipped around to mine, looking at me. “Since when are we keeping stuff from each other?” She sounded hurt that I would ever consider that to be an option. Judging by the looks of the other two, they felt the same way but weren’t voicing their opinions on it.

“Nothing.” I said through gritted teeth.

“The way you’re acting now and this entire week is telling us it hasn’t been nothing.” Marlene was pretending to be bored by being preoccupied with the ends of her hair but her pointed tone was directed at me. Her eyes looked at me, boring into me . I had to fight the shudder that wanted to course through me. “You know, I’ll go over later and ask him myself what happened between you two. I’m sure he’ll be happy to share with me.”

“That and you have an excuse to pretend not to notice the sexual tension between you and Black.” Alice muttered. Marlene blushed bright red and turned her head to glare at Alice. She smiled at Marlene.

“ _Fine.”_ If talking about the most annoying person on the planet will get them to shut up about it all then I might as well get it over with. “Potter and I… had a discussion.”

“So… that’s why you took it out on lemonade?” asked Alice confused.

“ _No.”_ I had to remember to not snap when discussing about this. “I went inside to escape the party for a bit. Everyone kept looking at me and I kept getting memories about what happened at the lake. Potter happened to be in there making lemonade by hand and I offered to help. It ended up turning into us… exchanging some words.”

“Translation: they had a fight.” Marlene said. Her tone was something that I didn’t recognize. Her face looked a little pained at saying that.

“Okay… So why was this different than any other time you’ve yelled at him?” asked Alice.

“What makes you think _I_ was the one yelling at him?” I asked. The two of them looked at each other and had knowing looks. Anger coursed through me. Can’t people see that he’s not as innocent as he seems? Potter gets away with everything. Despite the fact he bullied Severus for years, Potter still had people eating out of the palm of his hand. I’m pretty sure that’s why he was so arrogant because he thought he could get away with anything. It’s not like hardly anybody had stopped him over the years. “Let’s get once thing straight about that night. I asked him if he needed the help. He declined but then we actually had a nice conversation up until _he_ was the one yelling at me.”

“Did you say you had a _nice conversation_ with James Potter of all people?” asked Alice. You would’ve thought I said I knew how to speak fourteen languages fluently with how shocked she looked. Of course, no one was going to focus on the real issue at stake.

“James isn’t the one to start yelling. What was that conversation about?” The way Marlene got so annoyed by asking me this question would almost make me laugh if I was in the mood. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was ready for a change of pace in the conversations that concerned the Marauders but today wasn’t the day to do that.

“We talked about how he was terrified of his mum.” Marlene snorted at that comment. I sent her a glare. “Do you want me to tell you guys or not? Well he then told me that his mum had been on his and Black’s case because they moved the party.”

“Why would they convince Euphemia to move the cookout?” Alice’s faced scrunched up in confusion.

“Does it matter? They ended up doing it and they paid for it. Continue.” Marlene’s tone changed while she pointedly looked at me, as if trying to send me a deeper message. It was in that moment I realized _she knew_. She knew that Sirius Black changed the date of that cookout. Not only did he change it but for an actual reason. Not only did she appear to know but she didn’t want us to know. Did Black actually have feelings? No. Of course, he didn’t. Potter was making excuses for him. It would be typical of Black to go all out in a gesture like that to woo some tart into his bed. Not if I could help that.

“We ended up disagreeing with Black’s intentions about moving the party. He ended up yelling at me about how I didn’t know Black at all. Actually he went a bloody rant at how I didn’t know a single one of them. As if I was ever interested in getting to know them. He then thinks he has the audacity to tell me that if I wasn’t so self-centered that I would actually know the real them. And that’s not even the worst part!” I huffed and crossed my arms. “Potter ushers me out of the house by letting his house elf escort me out. It was so humiliating. Can you believe him? James Potter, of all people, telling me that I’m self-centered?”

“Well…” Alice started. She ended up biting her lip because she didn’t have anything else to say.

“Let’s get real.” Marlene’s voice cut through the air. Her face transformed into an expression I couldn’t decipher at all. “We’re not even going to discuss Sirius Black because that is another conversation for a different day. Since day one we’ve been at Hogwarts you’ve been on James’s case. You’ve never given a good reason why but I’m sure it was because he happened to be the first one out of everyone else in our year to hex Snape. He’s the only one who had the balls to know how that was going to turn out.”

“Watch it.” I growled instinctively. I winced at how easy it became to defend Severus after all these years. It was out of habit that it slipped out of me. It stung at how all that practice has now been proven worthless.

“You’re going to defend Snape? After all this time?” demanded Marlene. Her voice was so loud that when she was done talking, the house felt so eerily quiet. Marlene hardly ever got angry with us. No one knew what to do or what to say in this moment because this was the last thing any of us expected to happen.

“He was my oldest friend.” I said.

“Key word being _was_.” Marlene sent back.

The way she said that was like she was handing out a challenge to me, hoping that I would accept it and choose to fight back, but I couldn’t say anything back to that. My tongue became lead and I couldn’t speak. It was true and I couldn’t deny the truth even if I wanted to. Severus was my oldest friend for years. He was there for me for so many things in life, including all the times I cried over some dumb thing Petunia said that she thought was clever and ranted to him about school or Potter, but then he betrayed me. Even after so many years of promising each other we wouldn’t let our house prejudices get in the way of our friendship, he chose _them_ over me. It was something that even now that I haven’t process yet. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. We had our fights but this time… It felt so different. Our friendship was over and there was no way to fix it. I felt my throat tightened thinking about the finality of it all.

“I think Marlene means that James is definitely not the person you’ve always claimed, or rather complained, he is. Yeah, he can be an arse and arrogant to the point of annoyance, but he’s a boy. An only child from a wealthy pureblood family. Of course, he’s going to show off and want to impress everybody for attention. Especially girls who they think are pretty. It’s in their blood to do that.” explained Alice. I think she could feel that Marlene was about to pop a vein and I was on the verge of tears. Alice reminded me a lot of Remus in this moment since she was trying to be the voice of reason and calm everyone down. “Also… He really is nice. He’s the one that’s been tutoring me for the past couple of years.”

“He’s been what?” I asked completely shocked. For some reason no else found this as shocking as I did. Since when did Potter tutor anybody?

Alice’s cheeks turned pink. “He’s the one who’s been tutoring me in Transfiguration. Frank has tried but every single time we attempted to study we ended up… doing other stuff. The last thing I ever want to do is be behind in McGonagall’s classes. He’s even tutored me in other subjects depending on what we’re doing. Don’t look so surprised! I’m _horrible_ at Transfiguration and James’s brilliant. All of the Marauders are, which we all can’t deny. Even you Lil. Don’t you remember back in third year and they were able to do Patronus charms in Merryweather’s class without a single struggle?”

I remember that moment Alice was describing exactly. We finally moved to defense spells in Defense Against the Dark Arts and we reached the section about Dementors. Professor Merryweather then decided we would all at least try to create our Patronus charms – if we could at least. It would’ve been fine but she decided it would be done individually and in front of the whole class. I remember feeling beyond irritated about the fact all four of them waltzed in front of the classroom, say expecto patronum, and out pops real animal-like Patronuses like it was no big deal. _For third years._ In fact they weren’t even _surprised_ they were able to do it. They did it and all four of them walked back to their desks trying hard not to gloat with their smirks. I was so angry that they could do it I could barely get a wisp out of my wand. The rest of us could do anything to that degree. I’ve never seen Potter or Black so much as crack open a textbook to actually read it, except for Remus, yet all of them could do advanced magic like a Patronus charm like it was nothing. That’s when I began watching them and noticed how hardly any of them studied, except for Remus who seemed actually serious about his studies despite his mum getting sick every month. All four of them always had their homework done and got high marks on tests and any exercises we done in class. I guess Alice wasn’t wrong in saying that Potter could at least be smarter than I gave him credit for.

“I still don’t understand how. They never study at all.” I said . Potter may be smart but remembering how embarrassed I was that for the first time I couldn’t do something correctly though made me want to scream.

“Will you give it a rest?” Marlene snapped at me. Alice’s eyes widened. Marlene looked beyond livid and appeared to be almost bursting at the seams. I’ve never seen her like this even at her angriest. “I’ve known James all my life. We grew up together so I know the person he _actually_ is. You whine and complain about the James I don’t know. Yeah, he’s a goddamn arsehole loads of times and he can be conceited but you make him out to be the absolute worst person in the world. You wanna know who’s the worst person in the world? That Voldemort guy who spouts out that pureblood nonsense that your greasy git of an ex-friend is loyal to now. Last time I checked his name was _James_. He’s bloody brilliant and he does study. Quite a bit actually. James has the biggest heart out of all four of them too. He’s tried for _years_ to get you to even like him as a friend and you blow him off. All for what? Because of a certain slimeball with a known hatred for James who ended up fucking you over. I’m tired of you picking on James for no reason especially when he isn’t any of those things you claim he is. He’s a brother to me so if you seriously don’t start respecting that, especially for my sake, and treating him nicely then our friendship is over.”

It was as if all of the life got sucked out of me. My chest started to burn and ache from how hard all of a sudden it became to breathe. My eyes started to prickle so I had to fight the urge to burst into tears on the spot. Did she really just say that? She was willing to do that? Throw away our friendship? All for Potter? Him over me?

“Mar…” Alice began to say. She looked terrified at where this conversation turned by Marlene’s declaration. Somehow everything led up to all of us being speechless, a quality we all didn’t possess.

“I’m being dead serious. I wouldn’t be a Gryffindor if I wasn’t bold enough to say the truth or how I feel. Either you make a good decision for once about James and respect our friendship plus him or you can leave and go back to your house for the summer. I won’t say that I will miss you if you do.” Marlene said this with a finality that couldn’t be questioned. Her eyes could’ve set anything on fire with how angry she looked. “We’re about to be seventeen for god’s sake. I’m not saying you guys need to braid each other’s hair or make those muggle friendship bracelets or anything. Apologize. Be nice to him. Attempt being friends with him. Promise me you’ll at least try.”

Marlene and I stared each other down by the time her rant was over. While her stony demeanor gave no evidence that what she said shook her, it changed everything that I was thinking about. I had no idea that she felt this way. I knew over the years that she was always annoyed or irritated at how we treated each other, but I didn’t realize how this affected her. I knew her and Potter had an interesting relationship because they knew each other before Hogwarts on top of being Quidditch teammates. The way she was standing up for him reminded me of how Petunia used to be with the playground bullies when we were actually close. It never occurred to me before now they were close in ways that I couldn’t begin to understand.

Was James Potter actually right about me? Was I so involved in every opinion and prejudice that I held so dearly that I couldn’t see anything but those thoughts clouding my judgment? What else was there right in front of me that I didn’t know or refused to see? I suddenly remembered how Potter mentioned all the things Black did for others over the years and how I managed to not see it. I could feel the blood draining from me in horror. Not only did I cause that but now Marlene was threatening to end our friendship. She was right. This had to be over.

“Okay.” I said quietly. “I’ll try and be nice to Potter.”

“I’m pretty sure that means you’ll actually have to start calling him James.” Marlene and I jumped. I remembered that Alice still there. Marlene started to smirked and Alice was trying hard not to giggle.

Marlene turned back to me with a raised eyebrow. She was only asking me to try. I owe our friendship that much. “I’ll try and be nice to… James.” It was strange saying his first name. I couldn’t even remember the last time I said it out loud. The feeling that coursed through me was a different kind of feeling that I wasn’t used to. It sounded nice to not be tethered to his last name. Maybe this could be easier than I thought.

“Promise.”

I rolled my eyes at Marlene’s insistence. “ _Fine._ I promise and I hope to die that I will try and be nice to James Potter.”

Marlene laughed suddenly. “Well, I guess we better start your funeral because who knows how long that promise will last.” It shocked me at how her mood changed. She looked happy and content now after hearing my promise. There was no trace of anger left in her demeanor whatsoever. If anyone walked in right now they wouldn’t have believed she was about to end our friendship only moments before.

“So, before this moment can go south again, I’ve decided something.” Alice immediately stood up. For a girl who didn’t ever want attention, she held ours now. Her look was a mischievous one. Alice never schemed but she looked like she was doing that. “I’ve decided that the thing we’re doing tonight is a sleepover. I mean the traditional muggle kind. Muggle music. Tons of candy. Makeovers. All of that. Don’t even bother objecting to it because it’s going to happen.”

And with that Alice ran out of the kitchen, leaving us dumbfounded but ultimately accepting our fate.

-

Alice did not disappoint in her desire to throw the ultimate sleepover for the four of us. Apparently, this wasn’t a spur of the moment idea because the scene spread out in her living room wasn’t _little_. Not only did she manage every baked sweet good imaginable to be there but the mountain of candy she piled on the coffee table would last us for years to come. She charmed the cups and the popcorn to always refill when they all got too low on supplies. Marlene noticed that Alice went out of her way to get her favorite muggle soda, Coca-Cola, and about passed out on the spot. There had to be at least fifty records to choose from, most of them ranging from disco to rock, in the stack she presented. I recognized the labels on the makeup products she laid out to be expensive wizard labels. She had many muggle hairstyling tools, some I didn’t even recognize, ready for us to be used. I mentally told myself to ask her how she got them.

“Way to go all out, Al.” Marlene sounded impressed. Her eyes zeroed on the candy pile in the middle of the table. Her whole lit up. “You got me my favorite candies!”

“I did but not for you. You have to share. They’re for everybody, not for you to finish in one sitting.” said Alice. Marlene scoffed at her and rolled her eyes. Marlene was known to finish a couple pound bag of candy from Honeyduke’s within days all by herself. It was quite an impressive feat for anyone but that was Mar’s favorite way to consume candy. The only thing she loved more than candy was the food at Hogwarts. How she stayed fit the entire year amazed me.

“Were you planning on us being holed up here forever?” I eyed the spread. Though I wasn’t exactly into this sort of thing, anyone could have gotten overwhelmed. It was like Alice was preparing us into battle by fueling us with candy and our armor was the makeup.

“No, but I made sure there was something for everybody. Good news is there’s three of us so we can all do makeovers on each other!” squealed Alice. She was bouncing off the wall with how giddy she was acting. From the looks of it, she was hoping this would happen. The fact it was becoming reality was overwhelming her.

I turned to Alice. “Do you want to do each other’s makeup?” Out of the three of us, Alice only did basics with her makeup. She hardly put on extensive makeup except for special occasions. Marlene never left the dorms without putting on makeup so I was a little terrified she would go overboard on making me over.

“Yes, but only if you help me dye my hair.”

“You want Lily to do what?” Marlene about fell off of her couch in shock.

Alice rolled her eyes. “Not completely. I want something different. I have boring brown hair. I only want some red in it like low lights or something darker.”

I stared at Alice in shock and took in what she said. I tried to imagine what she was asking for me to do. Alice never cared much for appearances out of the normal girl-ish tendencies so it was surprising to hear how she wanted to change her looks. Out of the three of us, Alice looked most like an adult. She acted like one and definitely looked more like a woman than the rest of the girls in our year, including our group. She was the first girl in our year to develop into womanhood. She came back in fourth year to not only being taller but also having developed curves. Alice had a womanly roundness that none of us had when we all were fourteen. Now that she was average height and looked older, the boys couldn’t keep their eyes off of her much to Frank’s annoyance. You could tell when she walked past the boys they were mentally undressing her, wondering what she looked like under her clothes. The only reason they stayed away was because her piercing blue green eyes scared them off by how intense they were and Frank Longbottom would hex them to hell and back for looking at her that way. Making her hair darker would make her look even more of an adult and Frank would get a kick out of it. So much so that we might not see her for a few weeks.

“Magically or the old-fashioned muggle way?” I smiled.

“You’ll do it?” Alice grinned. “Magically, of course. I’ve heard stories about failed muggle dye jobs and I would like to avoid that.” She shuddered thinking about it. I shook my head. The fact that Alice already looked into doing it the muggle way was an amusing thought. I lifted my wand but hesitated. I’ve never done this before and had no idea if it would work. I remembered what McGonagall said about how you had to picture what you’re doing before enacting any Transfiguration work. I pictured Rachel’s light brown hair turn into a rich chocolate brown. I flicked my wand. Her hair turned the exact shade of chocolate brown that I wanted. I did it.

“Whoa, look at you.” Marlene said, looking impressed. “You look… Hot. I hope Frank does get your knickers wet for that.” I giggled and handed Alice a mirror so she could look at herself. She looked incredibly pleased then threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I heard her say a muffled thank you and hugged her back.

“I can do your hair now!” said Alice excitedly. She dragged me over to the neat arrangement of makeup and sat me down forcefully. Marlene laughed at my expression. I couldn’t help but smile and think that this sleepover was going to be a lot of fun.

-

“Tell me if I get too close to your head. I don’t want to burn you.” I heard Marlene say behind me. After Alice did my makeup, Marlene decided that she was going to curl my hair but with her wand instead. Alice and her switched positions and now Alice was applying makeup on me. I felt her gather and separate my hair into sections. She then grabbed a small part to curl.

“This was a good idea, Al.” I said quietly to her as she was putting eyeshadow on me. I didn’t have to see her to know she was grinning at my praise. She quietly continued to do my makeup while Marlene was talking a storm. Sometimes it always amazed me how Alice decided to put up with us. She was quiet compared to someone like Marlene or myself.

She was shyer than what was expected of a typical Gryffindor. When Alice started dating Frank back in third year, she started being bolder and more confident of herself. After that, nothing phased her. Frank always lovingly talked about her transforming into the person she is now. It was so sweet that they both found each other. Thinking about relationships reminded me about the Black issue. Did Sirius actually like someone or was that for show because of how I acted in front of James? Of course, I couldn’t talk to Marlene about it because for all I knew she thought Black was his typical self. My eyes flicked open to Alice as she was searching through her collection of lipsticks. The safest person to ask was her because I’m not sure if I could handle another Marlene rant episode about Black. I would have to corner her later to ask about it for insight.

“Ow!” I said as I felt something scorching graze the back of my neck.

“I’m so sorry!” Marlene’s cool fingers covered over the spot her wand burned. “That was the last piece so I’m done. I’m sorry that it happened to end this way. Here though.” I saw a mirror placed before me and I looked at some person I didn’t recognize. I saw a girl with creamy skin and round plump lips with a natural pink look. Her green eyes sparkled and stood out against the contrast of her skin. Her face was framed by soft curls. It took me a few seconds to realize that person I was staring at was myself. I looked… so mature. It was amazing what a little makeup and styling your hair can do for a person. Marlene came back and she had some salve in her hands. She dabbed some on her finger and rubbed it on the spot she burned. The burning sensation changed to a soothing one. The pain immediately went away.

I gave her a soft smile and took her hand that didn’t have the salve in mine. I wanted to get past our argument from earlier in any way possible. “Thank you. I really love what you did to my hair.”

Marlene was grinning again but was interrupted by the opening of Marlene’s back door from her kitchen. My mind went completely blank as Frank Longbottom, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and James Potter walked through the living room.

“Well well well, this is a sight to behold.” Black exclaimed with a wolfish grin and amusement in his eyes. I rolled my eyes. Black was always into theatrics and it was downright annoying despite all the new things I have learned about him lately. Remus also rolled his eyes as well but had an amused smirk on his face. He was always so serious every time I saw him so seeing this carefree and happy Remus made me feel good. I always wondered why Remus took life so seriously but always attributed to the fact his mum got sick so often enough that it seemed to happen once every month. When Marlene stood up and hugged him, he looked so surprised at being welcomed into Marlene’s home. I smiled realizing why he seemed so carefree and happy all of a sudden. Remus’ only friends were the Marauders a few others in Gryffindor. I doubt he ever had been invited to a party or someone else’s house during the summer. Alice said hi to him in her own shy way but then became a lovesick puppy when Frank zeroed in on her. The way Remus looked at made me feel so happy.

“It was about time you started looking like a girl, Mar. I was beginning to wonder if you knew of the concept.” laughed James, while ruffling Marlene’s hair. She snorted and playfully pushed him.

“Madam, you have wounded my partner in crime greatly. We will have to duel so I can defend his honor.” said Black dramatically. Marlene rolled her eyes and slightly scowled at him. James laughed even more at that while Marlene and Black had a stare down contest.

A lot of things made sense right in this moment now that I could see it happening right in front of me. It honestly amazed me how I didn’t see it before. Memories of being annoyed with how James constantly teased Marlene over the years, thinking he was picking on her because he was cruel and being downright hateful, was because they were both the closest things they had to siblings. The massive difference in knowing they weren’t related was in their looks. Marlene was the tallest one out of the three of us. Remus, James, and Black were well over six feet tall and she was only a couple inches shorter than them. She had long blonde hair and what I always loved about her hair was that it had a natural curl to it. Marlene was fair skinned but always flaunted about how easily she could tan while Alice and I could burn when it was cloudy outside. Marlene was outgoing with us and her dozens of male admirers but she could be shy and awkward when the moment calls for it. I’ve never met a person whose emotions could change faster than you could blink until her but her standard expression was a playful smirk. Mar’s eyes were truly the window to her soul. Anything she was feeling or thinking could be deciphered by looking her in the eye.

“Not to break up this love moment, but please for the love of god eat some candy. Mar has already eaten half of it by herself already.” Alice said as she ate some of her chocolate cauldron in her hand. Marlene turned a light shade of pink in embarrassment. Her eyes flicked over to the boys and back to Alice.

“Mar!” I picked up one of the bowls Alice laid out with the pile of candy. Sure enough, nearly half of the bowl was gone already while a dent into the pile was noticeable. I knew that I had quite a bit and so did Alice but the rest of the damage was all on Marlene. “I got these for everybody!”

“Are you ladies planning on taking shelter for the next couple of weeks?” Remus playfully teased us. Everyone was taken back for a couple seconds but we bounced back in laughing. I think we all agreed in silence how we all liked happy Remus and wanted him to be around for tonight. The tension in the air left over from Mar and Black dissolved and the party atmosphere came back. Everyone transitioned into the living room and everyone immediately went into party mode. Black practically attacked the food with that same dog like actions he seemed to always have.

I shyly peeked over at James after everything seemed to settle down. He’d been laughing and smiling all evening since they arrived. He challenged Black to a play sword fight with sugar quills that Remus judged. They ran around Marlene’s entire house in their antics. Black was very unhappy about the so-called injustice when Remus judged James to be the better sugar quill sword fighter. He wasn’t unhappy for too long because then Marlene commanded Black’s attention over Quidditch. He seemed content with losing after that. While everyone had spoken with him at least once, he never once turned and spoke to me directly. In fact, I don’t think he looked over at me hardly more than the few times I’ve spoken this evening. My stomach twisted every time it looked like he was going to look over and address me but it never happened. I’m not sure why I kept getting anxious about it then disappointed when it didn’t happen. I knew I promised Marlene that I would apologize to him and attempt being friends with him but the fact he’s been acting like I didn’t exist all night has brought down my confidence. _Get a grip. You’ve apparently insulted him for years. He’s still upset from the party._ I sighed. Somehow, I was going to have to get him alone and do it thought right now I couldn’t imagine how.

“So, how’s it going with your ladies’ mission?” asked Black with a mouthful of popcorn. We all looked at him like he was crazy. “Don’t act so modest. You all know what I’m talking about. You know, your mission to have the greatest summer alive or whatever.” Alice started to choke on her candy. Marlene froze with a licorice wand stuck in her mouth. Black knew about our list? No one knew about that list except for the four of us. Marlene could have mentioned it to James but she hadn’t spoken to any of the boys since the party. Alice’s face was turning a dark shade of red and I could tell that it wasn’t her. He didn’t hear it from me so that only left…

Marlene whipped her entire body toward Alice. “You told him about the list?!”

Alice’s cheeks turned a color of red I’ve never seen before. “I… May have mentioned it to Frank.” She admitted guiltily.

Frank back up in fear when Marlene whipped her attention to him. “I didn’t realize it was a secret!”

“FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!” exclaimed Marlene. I groaned. Great. One of the greatest prankster of this generation at Hogwarts knew about what we were planning on doing for our summer. I could only imagine how many times he was going to rub this in our faces for the rest of the summer.

“We didn’t know we weren’t supposed to talk about it! It never said anything about that in the contract.” Alice’s voice sounded closer to a whine than I ever heard in my life.

“You guys came up with a contract? For a _list_?” Black was now grinning at this new development of information. Remus sent a look towards Black because at least he was decent enough to not find this amusing. James was trying hard not to burst out into laughter at Frank’s terrified expression. It didn’t work very well because a smirk gave out and I noticed how he had a dimple on his right cheek. _When the hell did James Potter get a dimple? Does he have one on the other side? I’m pretty sure he’s never had those before._ Almost as if he could hear me, our eyes connected. I could feel my face warming up at getting caught and I looked away. It was already embarrassing enough Black knew about the damn list and now I’m getting caught for staring at James Potter of all people. What the hell is this world coming to?

“It was to make sure we all did the things on the list. We’re all liable to complete them. It was a way to signify how we are committed to completing the list.” said Marlene. I knew that the contract was Marlene’s idea. I could tell that she was insulted by how Black was finding humor in her idea. “To only each other.” She then said pointedly at Alice and Frank. The color on Frank’s cheeks darkened.

“This is the best thing I have ever heard of in my life.” Black said through his laughing fits. I have never wanted to hit Black more in my life than in this moment.

“What exactly is the list even for?” asked James.

I sighed. “The list is to make sure we all do things to create the craziest and funniest moments we can this summer. We don’t know when we’ll see each other again after we leave Hogwarts so it’s kind of like a commitment to have fun together one last time.”

My comment caused Black to immediately stop laughing. Remus raised an eyebrow and I noticed how his eyes flicked to everyone wistfully. For the first time tonight James was looking at me with an unreadable expression I couldn’t decipher and I wished he wasn’t. I could feel my face heating up and I squirmed under the observation. Despite being uncomfortable it was impossible to break eye contact with him.

“I think it’s a great idea.” declared Remus, breaking the silence. Bless him. Bless him for the rest of eternity.

“I’ll have to agree with Moony on this one.” James had the heart to break contact. I couldn’t understand why there was a hollow feeling in my chest after it was over. James’s face broke out into a full out grin. “But if Mar is involved that means it has a name to it. Anything we did growing up always had a name stuck to it. Claimed it made everything more authentic.”

“What’s the name?” Remus asked intrigued. Her face turned bright red. She looked at the ground and mumbled it.

“What was that? We didn’t quite hear you there.” taunted Black, smirking.

Her head shot up to glare at him. If Marlene ever wanted to die from embarrassment yet also want to kill somebody at the same time, it was right now. “The Ultimately Spectacular Blowout Summer List.” She said through gritted teeth. Both Black and James were trying not to laugh. Even Remus and Frank couldn’t hold back an amused smile at the name Marlene came up with.

“So what does The Ultimately Spectacular Blowout Summer List entail exactly?” asked Remus.

Marlene and Alice’s eyes bored into mine. They were unsure of what to say. While Marlene was bold in her own right, there was no way she was going to bring out the list after having to admit what she named the damn thing. Alice was beyond mortified by being caught unknowingly sharing secrets so she wouldn’t say anything. Frank practiced a long time ago to keep secrets once he got into a relationship with Alice so he wouldn’t say anything. All that was left was me which meant that I would be the one to have to admit in front of Sirius Black and James Potter of all fucking people what our list contained. Marlene mouthed the words _kiss a Marauder_ at me. My heart stopped at remembering how that was an item on the list. Telling them we had a list and that said list had a name was enough. If we told them they were on it and how exactly it involved them, we would never hear the end of it.

“I guess the better question is have you even started crossing things off on the list?” I turned and looked at James, shocked. He looked at me and nodded slightly that no one would have noticed unless they were looking at him. I realized he noticed how my expression had changed and he was saving me from embarrassing ourselves even more. First I felt relief at not having to reveal what was actually on the list but then I felt a strong wave of guilt wash over me. If I was still on my tirade from this morning I would’ve thought he had an ulterior motive. He did something incredibly nice for not only me but the rest of us despite the argument we had.

“No.” Alice admitted quietly.

“I am _embarrassed_.” declared Sirius. His loud voice made us all jump. “We’ve been home for a month and you haven’t done _anything?_ That’s downright bloody disappointing.” He drawled out his last sentence while looking at Marlene. She took his bait.

“We haven’t had an opportunity to do anything.” growled Marlene. She was glaring at him as if she wanted to rip off his head.

“Why not do one of them tonight? Unless you plan on doing girl talk about boys then I’ll gladly take part in opening the floor for discussion about me, the godliest specimen on the planet.”

Black looked triumphant when Marlene didn’t immediately send an answer back to him.

His expression faltered slightly when Marlene’s face then transformed to mischievous. “Actually, we were planning on doing one of the items tonight. Are your parents’ home, James?”

“No.” he said slowly, looking at Marlene suspiciously.

“Good. We can cross off number one of our list. You boys can be of witness to it.”

“You want to do number one _now_?” asked Alice. Her eyes widened. It was almost as if she was terrified of doing it. I couldn’t remember what number one on the list was for the life of me; however, if Alice was terrified then it wasn’t a good sign.

“Yes.” said Marlene. She gave everyone in the room a massive grin. “Let’s all go take a trip to James Potter’s house.”

-

“I cannot believe we stole _wine_ from the _Potter’s_!” I hush whispered to Alice.

On the way over Alice reminded Frank and me about what number one was on our list. We protested the whole time though the boys didn’t understand why. It wasn’t until Marlene walked out with six bottles of what looked like expensive wine triumphantly saying she stole something so the list was officially begun and in motion when the boys finally understood. I about had a heart attack in the Potter’s front yard with how loudly she said it in the quiet countryside, paranoid that someone would hear. Remus looked at her like she was higher being at doing something so bold about stealing from the people you’ve known all your life and could practically call them family. I was so surprised at James’s reaction because he almost had to sit on the ground from laughing so hard considering what I knew about him and his fear of his mum. The only satisfying thing of the night was Black’s face. He looked like his head could explode from how shocked he was. Ever since we got back to Mar’s house he’d been pretty grumpy about the entire situation.

Alice was refilling her glass while shrugging. “Has Marlene ever backed down from a challenge? I mean, Sirius challenged her to a drinking contest to who can hold the most down and look at her. Sirius changed the game when he challenged her list idea.”

I looked over at Marlene who was definitely on her fourth glass of wine by now. I’ve never seen Marlene drunk before but it was a sight to behold. Her cheeks were pink because of how much wine she had drunk before. On her third glass of wine she decided that we needed music for this party we were having. She turned on the muggle radio and said we could all dance if we wanted. Alice was dying of laughter when Marlene broke out into what I’m sure was her version of interpretive dance. It didn’t help that Black was also on his third glass by that point and decided to keep challenging her through a dance contest. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much from laughing so hard before in my life. Now that she was on her fourth glass she was being very attentive and affectionate to everyone.

I took a sip of the wine in my cup. I was barely into my second glass before the dance contest started and I knew I had to take it easy compared to Marlene. My head was fuzzy and things were a lot funnier than before. I felt so light that I could float but also heavy at the same time so I stayed anchored to my seat on the couch. I took in the scene before me. We were on our third bottle of the night and still had three more to go through.

The only one who wasn’t drinking was Frank but the next person who was closest to being sober was James. I hated to admit it but since we came back to the house I was staring at him more as the evening went on. I also hated to admit how I appreciated his one dimple and how his eyes crinkled up when he laughed or smiled, which was often now that I realized it. He also had nice arms which I couldn’t stop looking at. I knew it was the wine that it was making me think all these things but I let it happen, not willing to fight it tonight. Suddenly I remembered what he told me at the cookout and had to ask Rachel about it.

“So that fight James and I had. He mentioned how you guys all like Black and I’m the only one who doesn’t. Marlene doesn’t like him.” I said quietly.

Alice looked at me . “I mean, isn’t it obvious why she doesn’t?” My eyes flicked over as Marlene made a show to Black about how she was now on her fourth glass. She took a big gulp and drained half her glass and drunkenly showed it to Black, who was in turn furious. Seeing this confused the hell out of me and I had no idea why they would ever care enough about each other to challenge each other to get wasted.

“Uh… No?”

“Marlene and James grow up together so they have a unique sibling-like connection that way. They do everything together. We come to Hogwarts and James meets Sirius and they’re instant best friends and start doing everything together there. It’s that constant battle between them is why they act the way they do.”

“Battle?” This wine was making my brain not cooperate correctly.

“Think of it this way. I’m sure Marlene thought of James as her best friend all her life and then Sirius comes in and not only takes that spot but eventually moves in to live with him. Sirius, I think, has always been slightly jealous of the good sibling-like relationship that Mar and James share because he never had that with his own siblings, much less his own family. We know Bellatrix or Narcissa aren’t rays of sunshine. For some reason, they both have come under this unspoken conclusion that James can only have one true best friend so they’re always in a way challenging each other to prove who’s better. I guess the better way to phrase it is ways to prove who’s more qualified to have that coveted position in James’ life. The hard part is, well, Marlene grew up with him but James and Sirius have clearly been through a lot together. The issue is divided evenly on both sides. Honestly, they’ll probably never get that they both can be James’s best friend respectively for different reasons.” She shrugged again as she drank her wine.

I took that all in slowly. Marlene… jealous of Sirius Black? More importantly, _Sirius Black_ was jealous of Marlene? It began to make sense the more I thought of the way that Alice had put it. If anyone tried to get in the way between me and Petunia when we still were on speaking terms, I would’ve have the thrown the world’s biggest temper tantrum. She was _my_ sister and I would’ve been damned for anyone to separate us at the time. My eyes darted over when I overheard James telling Marlene and Sirius were cut off after they both poured their fifth glass. Even though Marlene was a little aggressive with him since he was taking her wine privileges away, he was still being gentle with both of them. I could tell by his expression he was worried about how much they were beyond the point of plastered.

“But Jaaaaaames, what else am I supposed to do?” whined Marlene. Her words were slow and slurred to the point her words almost ran together.

“I’m sure Remus can entertain you for the rest of the evening but you’re not getting anymore. You’re not either, Padfoot, so don’t even bother asking.” I almost didn’t have time to process that fact at how James Potter, one of Hogwarts’s biggest pranksters, was being the responsible one when Marlene then plopped down on her couch, grabbed Remus by his shirt, and starting cuddling with him on the couch.

“She’ll feel all this in the morning.” Rachel said while taking another sip. I started giggling hysterically while James, Black, and Frank took in the fact Marlene was _cuddling_ with Remus on the couch. The poor guy looked so awkward with Marlene laying over him that his hands were up because he didn’t know where to put them.

Black made a scoffing noise at the scene in front of him and cross his arms over his chest. I noticed how he was eyeing the rest of the bottles darkly and knew I had to get those away. I immediately stood up and had to steady myself. I walked over and picked up two of the bottles. “I think these need to be chilled since you lot are taking a break.” I hesitated staring at the third bottle, not sure how confident I should be in my abilities in carrying three bottles of expensive wine when I was tipsy.

“I’ll help you.” I froze as James grabbed the last bottle before Black could pounce on it. I nervously gripped the bottles I was holding as I watched him silently beg for Alice’s help. She swooped in and dragged Black to dance with her and Frank while Marlene’s cuddle session with Remus started to include snoring. James had sneakily gotten out the back door and was waiting for me as I looked over at Alice, asking if it was okay and she waved me off to go on. I quickly walked through this madness to leave the house.

Despite Marlene’s house being loud with music and my head being fuzzy, creating its own unique music, it was hard to deny how quiet it was out now that we were out in the calm countryside alone. I kept sneaking glances over at James, who still hadn’t said a word, since we left the house. I don’t know why I tried because I could barely make out his figure in the straight darkness. I wanted to say something but the wine was like a weight on my tongue, refusing to let me speak. I knew this was my moment to apologize to him but my brain wasn’t cooperating. Damn wine.

“So do you think Marlene will remember this in the morning?” he asked me in the darkness. He sounded very amused. I opened up my mouth but nothing came out. What the hell is wrong with me? He continued though I didn’t answer him. “God, I can only hope so. I know we were all waiting for this moment where she crashes. Or at least I was. But I am disappointed in her alcohol tolerance not being higher. I believed in better for her.” He laughed in the summer air and I was fascinated by the sound of it. James believed in Marlene? _Of course he does. They grew up together remember? He would be stupid if he didn’t believe in her even over something like alcohol._

I stayed silent as we reached his house and he guided me through the backdoor. I hesitated walking through the kitchen but I kept walking on. He took us into the hallway near the living room that opened to an enchanted wine cellar. My jaw dropped to floor taking in the room. The enchanted room was huge and had two floors. There was a wine bottle in almost every slot in the downstairs part and the ones I could see in the holdings on the second floor. My shock seemed to somehow get everything connected and I could speak. “Will your parents notice we took this?”

He snorted as he placed the wine back in their places. “Dad will assume Mum drank it and he’ll replace it. Mum drinks about a glass or two every day. They won’t notice it. But if we are caught in here, we will get in trouble so we better get out of here.”

We ran out of his house. James double checked to make sure everything looked normal before we started to head back. Alarm bells were ringing off in my head telling me to apologize now. I sighed. Now that we were in darkness this would be a lot easier than him being able to stare at me. “Wait.”

James immediately stopped. “Is everything okay? Did we forget something?”

“No.” I shook my head then stopped. Obviously he couldn’t see me so that was useless. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” I was met back with silence. I started to get nervous and thought I was suddenly alone.

“Okay.” James said cautiously.

“I promise this talk is mostly one sided.” I took a deep breath and went for it. “I wanted to say I was sorry. About the party. What I said… It wasn’t called for. You were right about a lot of things but especially about Black. I don’t know him and I know he hasn’t had it easy. I’m also sorry about how I’ve treated you in the past and assuming the worst of you. You saved us from embarrassment about our list and a horrible person wouldn’t have done that.” I paused to give myself a breather.

“Oh. Thank you for apologizing.” His voice gave away what I couldn’t see and it sounded like he was extremely surprised at hearing me say sorry.

“I wanted to see if we could start over. A clean slate I guess. Be friends.” All I could think in this moment was how hot my face felt. I had no idea if it was the wine or what I said was the cause of it. At least James couldn’t see it.

“Friends.” He said the word slowly as if he never heard it before.

I cleared my throat nervously. “I think we’ve both been through enough to try and be friends.” I realized I had to make a confession that no one had heard me say, not even Marlene. “After what happened at the lake…” I heard him take a deep inhale and I winced. We both didn’t have the fondest memories of that moment. “I realized the one person who was looking out for me was you. You were there to fight for me and I repaid you back in harsh words that I regret now. You really have the option of saying no but I would like to start off our last year at Hogwarts with one less stress on both of us. That means, you know, we can be Lily and James instead of Evans and Potter. If that’s something you want.”

His laughter broke out in the air. My tipsiness made my heart skip a beat at the sound. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to move out of the last name business.”

“So you’re saying…”

“I’d like that. Being friends, I mean.” I could tell he was grinning even if I couldn’t see it. “Lily Evans and James Potter. Friends. McGonagall is going to lose all her hair.”

I giggled. “I’d rather see Malfoy or Bellatrix’s hair be gone. It’d be funnier if they fainted on the spot though. They’d never hear the end of it from anybody.”

He laughed again at that. “You know, Lily, I think we’re off to a good friendship so far.”

I could feel the warmth spread through me as my smile grew slowly. James Potter was right. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.


	6. Situational Matchmaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! I know it's been FOREVER since I last updated but so much has happened. I had camp stuff that I was a leader for but I also had surgery to recover from. Between all that I didn't have the time and energy to rewrite or edit this chapter. But now it's here and I'm excited for you all to read it. Thank you all so so so much for all the kudos because you guys are the encouragement to keep this story going!
> 
> You'll get to see more of the dynamics and relationships of all these wonderful characters. Remus' back story and friendship with the boys come to light in this chapter too. I made this chapter extra long because of the wait so I hope you all enjoy that! Feedback and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: There are brief mentions of self-harm throughout this chapter. I tried my best to make the references as minimal as possible but if you want or need to skip those parts then feel free to do so.

James’ POV

It was quiet and tense in my house. It was never like this even on the bad days. Today was different though. Sirius and I were staring at the Floo silently, waiting for Remus to show up. I could tell Mum worried about us and had tried to come to talk to us while fretting over us. Dad had to pry her away despite her being so concerned. In her defense, we did decline breakfast and she never knew or seen us decline food ever. I knew I was starving and so was Sirius. You couldn’t ignore the sounds our stomachs had been making for the past two hours. The fact we hadn’t eaten when we were hungry was Mum’s equivalence to hell freezing over. Especially since Sirius never knew when to stop eating. While Dad distracted her for most of the morning, I could tell that they both had questions. Questions that I’m sure I would be cornered for later and I couldn’t give them any answers that they wanted to hear.

I never told my parents about Remus’ condition. When we found out Remus was a werewolf during our second year, we all sworn to secrecy to never tell anybody. Later we would make a further promise to not tell only our families but also future girlfriends. It wasn’t long after that we found out that he tried to take himself out of the Marauders. As if I would’ve fucking let him over my dead body at that point. Then Sirius put two and two together about what was happening. That was the closest he ever looked like Bellatrix in his life with the way his face scrunched up. I had never seen Peter get so upset. Remus avoided us after finding out that we knew what he was doing and how upset we were. He soon stopped taking care of himself altogether. He hardly slept in the dorms and I don’t remember him eating more than nibbles at any meals. He ran himself ragged. It got to the point where we had to force an intervention on him. We had to tell the smartest person we knew he was being stupid. We also had to inform him that we weren’t going to stop being friends with him because he was being a downright prat. I don’t know what it was. For all I know it was Sirius’s impassioned overdramatic speech about how we all should stick together. Maybe it was the fact Peter yelled or the intervention itself but Remus stopped trying to push us away. Instead he condemned our stupidity for choosing to be his friend at least twice a day. He still does it today even though nothing he does or says will change our minds on the matter.

The moment he found out we were researching to help his condition he felt touched. Remus then told us there was no cure for lycanthropy – he and his parents had already checked when he first got the bite. He mentioned the only way we could help him was helping his werewolf side which was dangerous. He had forbidden us to see him since only animals weren’t his target as a werewolf. After a week he told us this, Peter mentioned through a passing joke about how we would have to be animals ourselves to help him out. It struck us then that we could become Animagi to help him. Sometimes Peter was bloody brilliant in the moment’s he never intended to be. When Remus found out we were researching to become Animagi to help his furry alter ego he about exploded. He didn’t speak to us for a solid week which is a long time in Remus’ world. Of course, Lily and Marlene noticed it. They harassed us like what anyone would expect from annoying, nosy know-it-all twelve-year-old girls.

For a while he acted like the fact we were attempting to achieve our goal of becoming Animagi wasn’t reality once we came back our third year of Hogwarts. The three of us were trying to get to our goal before he could find out about how serious we were about it and prevent us from accomplishing it. The fact it was illegal and we could harm ourselves never crossed our minds at the time. Well, it did cross Peter’s but he continued anyway after Sirius and I convinced him that Remus needed our help. Once we could transform successfully we showed it to Remus. He pretended to act not too cross with us but we could see him hardly holding back his tears, touched that we did something so monumental for him. Even after all our efforts he refused for us to go with him whenever he changed. Sirius kept making snide comments about how it was a waste of time for us learning how to become illegal Animagi if we weren’t even using the ability. Remus always acted like he never heard him. It took several months and many injuries from his furry friend to convince him he needed help when he crossed over so he couldn’t keep injuring himself. Deep down, Remus had a harder time admitting he needed the help since he was so used to doing it by himself for so long. Remus told us a lot about how lonely his childhood became after being bitten for his safety from judgment and rejection. Loneliness also came with dark thoughts for him as the years went by. Those dark places plagued his thoughts to remind him that he was a monster and unlovable. He believed that he was doomed to stay forever alone or always left behind. We tried to convince him that he wasn’t the monster he tried to paint himself as; I’m sure we were pretty close to believing it too.

Then Sirius pulled the biggest prat move of the century. He opened his big mouth to Snape and practically spelled it out for the greasy git about Remus’ condition. Snape decided to listen to Sirius, which Merlin only knows _why_ , and showed up at the Shrieking Shack the first night when Remus transitioned. The first night is always the roughest for him and the wolf inside because it was when he was the most violent and active. The wolf saw Snape and all but pounced on him since it registered him as prey. While Sirius and Peter held him off so he couldn’t rip him to shreds, I had to drag Snape out of the Shack back far enough that we were out of sight out of mind for the wolf. I wasn’t surprised that all four of us were sitting in Dumbledore’s office not even five minutes after dawn broke when Remus transitioned back. Snape was in hysterics and convinced about how we were all murderers who wanted this to happen, going on at how we should be sent to Azkaban and never come back to Hogwarts. I’ve never seen Minnie look so livid or stiff in my life. Considering how many times we’ve gotten in trouble and spent detention with her was saying something of the woman who was Minerva McGonagall. She immediately put Snape in his place while Slughorn tried to defend his student. Dumbledore didn’t say a thing and acted as if Snape could’ve died by Sirius’ big mouth didn’t bother him. If it did, the calm old man didn’t let it show. McGonagall all but hexed the greasy git when he yelled at Dumbledore that we always get away with everything. Dumbledore calmly explained how this was to be kept a secret and there would be consequences all the way up to expulsion if Remus’ secret happened to be spread.

Somehow that all lead us to never speak of the incident again. I knew from intuition that Snape was completely unforgiving about it. Never mind the fact if I didn’t do something the greasy git wouldn’t even be alive to feel this way. I’m not sure where the fuck he got the idea that we would care about he thought considering what happened to all us afterward. Remus ripped Sirius a new one. You could see the moments of Remus losing confidence. It was like a wall physically crumbling down in front of us. He refused to speak to Sirius for weeks and hardly spoke to Peter or me. Sirius and I had a big fight after I realized he held no guilt about the whole incident. I became devoted to Quidditch while Sirius spent all his time in detention. Peter tried to patch us all back together as much as he could but we didn’t want to. He gave up when he realized he wasn’t accomplishing anything. We weren’t friends during that period but knew why. It blew everyone’s mind to see the Marauders not together. Marlene said it was like Hogwarts fell apart without having the Marauders running around. Even the teachers didn’t know what to do about it. We worked everything out but the dynamic of all four of us changed separately but also as a whole. It wasn’t too long that I saw the scars on Remus’ arms that I knew weren’t from his werewolf side. Knowing he hurt himself even once because he hated himself and what he became that much made the growling in my stomach curdle into nausea.

The nerves didn’t help the feeling I was going to revisit all the food I had yesterday any second now. Hardly a day passed by after the drunken show Sirius and Marlene made last week before Remus started to get sick because of the upcoming full moon. He had a mini panic attack because when he first came, he told us it wouldn’t happen until the following Wednesday. His transformation had a pattern we’ve come to memorize and the first wave of it was his sickness. Remus’s obsession with making sure he knew when the moon cycles happened couldn’t prepare him for his symptoms coming earlier than what he planned. By Sunday morning he was gone. The only blessing was he left a note, mostly for my parents’ sake, that his mum was sick again and he immediately went to see her. That calmed Mum down knowing that she didn’t have anything to do with Remus’ mysterious and sudden absence. It’s been five days since Sirius and I have seen or heard from him. Over the summers Remus would always make sure to contact us to let us know that he was okay when the full moon was over but he didn’t do it this time. I peeked over at Sirius. He was trying to play it cool, like it was casual for the two of us to stare at the Floo for hardly any reason at all. His eyes and his set jaw said a lot more than the rest of his body language. I could tell he was scared out of his mind like I was. It didn’t help that Mum hovered over us with concern because she had no idea why we were acting this way. Her obvious concern made us feel even tenser.

The Floo lit up in violent green flames and Remus stepped out of the flames. Sirius and I were immediately on our feet but we hesitated. I could feel a lump on my throat as I looked at Remus. Every so often there was a full moon where it was harder on Remus compared to the others. This one ran him ragged. He didn’t appear to have any more scars on his face or his hands, his face looked thin and sallow as if he was sick. I doubt he ate much while he was away since he didn’t have me or Sirius to make sure he ate. His eyes had dark bags under them as if he hadn’t slept since he left on Sunday. The way he hunched his back over made him look like a wounded animal. Remus almost looked fragile in a way that if we poked him he would fall apart in pieces on the floor. He smiled at us weakly. I let out a huge exhale that I didn’t even know I was keeping in.

Sirius exhaled as if he was holding in his breath this entire time. He drew Remus in a bear hug. “Goddamn it, mate. Were you trying to give us heart attacks?” Sirius pulled back, showcasing off his wolfish grin.

Remus laughed hoarsely. “Down boy. Your invisible tail is showing.” His eyes glittered with amusement. I burst out laughing after a beat of silence. It was a relief to see how lighthearted he was being considering what he was coming back from. Remus was safe. That’s all we needed for right now.

Sirius blinked to show how surprised he was then pouted. He looked like a grown sad puppy. “I missed _breakfast_ for you and what do I get? _Nothing._ My fit body was withering away with worry and hunger.”

I rolled my eyes at Sirius’s dramatics. “Oh, come off it, Padfoot.” I gently touched Remus’s arm, afraid to be too physical with him. “C’mon, I’m sure Mum will implode if she knows you’re back and we _still_ haven’t eaten.”

Remus smiled once again but that was then when I noticed there was something off about him. There was a reserved kind of fear that you could detect behind his eyes. I could tell by Remus’s demeanor he was being guarded. When he looked at me, something passed in his face that I couldn’t understand. It looked a lot like sadness. What was going on? He wasn’t the type to divulge much when pushed. Whatever happened, he would tell us in time and we’d be there when he was ready.

-

My sides started to ache at the pressure building up as I ran. My chest was starting to burn with each step that I took. Every breath was starting to transition from being deep and even to much shorter as the seconds passed by. My legs were slowly beginning to cramp from feeling the long-distance path I was leading myself through. I knew that I wouldn’t last another five minutes at this rate but I kept going despite knowing this. I should’ve known better than to skip my training regimen for so long but the party last week and Remus’ well-being distracted me. If I had any hopes of Minnie to even consider making me Quidditch Captain this year then I needed the strength to prove I was the best candidate for the job. I knew McGonagall liked having that trophy in Gryffindor’s possession so she wasn’t looking to giving it away. Quidditch wasn’t the type of sport where slacking off will help you gain anything so I needed to be at the top of my game.

Out of all the things I do for training running wasn’t exactly my favorite to do training wise. The only bonus was it gave me time to think. I couldn’t stop thinking about Remus and what he could be keeping from us. There was so many possibilities of what it could be. Did something happen to him? I tried to remember the last time Remus transformed without any help. From what little I know, Remus’s parents helped him over the summer. I had no idea how effective it was since I doubted it was anything to close what Sirius, Peter and I did. Surely, he wasn’t alone this past time but the way he was acting said otherwise. I hoped he didn’t injure himself. Remus as a werewolf was active by viewing everything as a target practice. His werewolf side never cared if his body got injured or his face being scratched off. Remus could sleep for days after his cycle by how much he overexerted himself but when we’re at Hogwarts he had to pretend everything was alright. Or was it something else entirely?

When I saw my house after overcoming a hill, I rejoiced out loud. I was gasping for air at this point. Little stars were starting to come into my field of vision. My legs and the ache in my chest were screaming at me to stop. It felt as if someone was squeezing my sides, hoping that I would burst. Once I ran up the stairs I collapsed on the porch. I had to close my eyes with how much my surroundings were spinning. My heart was beating so loud that it drowned everything else out. I winced when I tried to stretch my legs flat and found it difficult to do so. Why the hell did I find this to be a good idea? I made a mental note to not go this long without running.

“Are you okay?”

I immediately sat up and felt my head hit something hard. My vision became blurry with tears forming as a headache started to form. Once the blurriness went away I turned around and my eyes widened.

“Lily?”

She was rubbing the red spot I saw forming on her forehead but froze after I said her name. Her face became the same color as her new injury in embarrassment. “James, I’m so sorry! I thought you heard me come up.”

“It’s okay. That’s what I get for slacking off for not working out. Karmal or whatever that word is we learned in Divination.” I sighed and stood up. I held out my hand to help her up. I saw Lily’s eyes flicker over to me and then look away. Her face darkened even more in color. Fuck. Did I say something wrong already? I could only imagine what I already did to mess this up. The breeze blew then and I realized that I was talking to Lily Evans. On my porch after I ran. Completely sweaty and _shirtless_. Warmth coursed through me for a split second thinking she could have found me attractive in that moment. I shaked my head. I needed to stop thinking these things. We were _just_ friends. “Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you and all but what are you doing here?” I mentally cursed myself when Lily’s face went back to bright red. _Who in their goddamn mind says that? What an idiot._

“I came here to see you. I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, it’s more advice than anything.” My eyebrows shot up in surprise and she bit her lip.

“Yeah, sure. What are friends for when their fellow friend is in distress? I have experience in that area since Padfoot is in distress every single moment of the day if his hair isn’t cooperating.” I tried to ignore the feeling coursing through me when Lily laughed and she smiled at me. I had to fight the urge to kiss the living daylights out of her right in this moment. I groaned once I processed that she was wearing the same sundress from the cookout that hugged her body perfectly. The fact that was the only barrier between me touching her actual skin was maddening.

 _Merlin_ , I need a cold shower.

-

I never thought that any of my fantasies would ever come true but Lily Evans was in my room. Albeit we weren’t doing any of the things that I had fantasized about but she was physically and willingly in my room. I sat on my bed once she took everything in around her.

Since I was the only child I got the second biggest room in the house after my parents having the biggest. It was decorated from what my parents’ tastes were before I was born but I didn’t mind. The wood floor and the canopy bed was a dark mahogany color that offset the rich crimson color of the sheets. Two side tables adorned either side of the bed, one of them housing a lamp, my wand, and some books while the other had some Gryffindor-like table decorations. One _entire_ wall of my room was dedicated to Quidditch. For some reason that was the wall I was most embarrassed about her finding. There were medals and other things from my Quidditch little league days. The first snitch I ever caught was sealed and hanging on the wall as well as the first child broom I ever owned was up there. There were also pictures of my favorite professional Quidditch players with their signatures stuck up on the wall. Every ticket from the Quidditch World Cup match I’ve ever went to were also framed in a large collage. Since Dad loved the game as much as I did, the tickets took up a quarter of the wall, which was saying something. Over the years I’ve added some Gryffindor related things but that was about it. The whole wall was decorated in straight lines and in order like how Mum liked it since she indulged in me and Dad’s Quidditch obsession. The wall opposite of my bed housed a long, mahogany colored wooden dresser that housed said Quidditch gear and other clothes. I never knew why I had it when I had a walk in closet but without it the room would be off. The last wall was open to said closet and my desk that housed all my previous textbooks and other school related stuff that hardly ever got touched over the summer except to make more room on the desk. I started to get nervous the longer Lily went inspecting everything.

“Did you make this?”

I jumped at the sudden break in silence. I noticed Lily had zeroed in on the collage hanging above my desk. It was a small board that housed all the pictures from not only growing up but also at Hogwarts. “Yeah, I mean Mar helped but it was more of a group effort by the time it was said and done.”

“Group effort?” She turned to look at me over her shoulder and tilted her head. My breath hitched as the sun came out then and engulfed her all over in a pool of light. This was becoming better than a fantasy but my pants had to remember that’s not where this was headed.

“Well, Mar went through a crafting stage when we were younger to be like our mums. Sometimes those crafts worked. This could’ve worked had we probably done it right. Dad had to fix the frame and Mum worked out to make the pictures flow as if it matters when they’re all jumbled like that.” She smiled softly and turned back to the collage. It was hard to remember this was real and not a dream. I remembered I hadn’t even offered her a seat for anything. Mum would whack me over the head if she knew. “You can sit on the bed if you want.”

Lily’s head whipped to mine, her eyes wide, and her cheeks had a faint pink color on them. I realized what I said. _Fucking fantastic work, Potter. You should win a medal for knowing how to make Lily uncomfortable._ “I – I only meant for sitting. You can sit at the desk if that makes you more comfortable.” Lily let out a sigh as if from relief. She turned the chair to face me and sat down. I tried to ignore the rush of disappointment realizing she thought the worst but more at the fact she chose to sit at the desk.

“So… how are you doing?” she asked awkwardly as looked up at me. I snorted internally at the mere fact that Lily, one of the bravest Gryffindors I know, was looking slightly terrified in her seat. Granted, she is alone in my bedroom with me of all people but I figured after everything we would be okay with talking to each other. If she wants to play that game to feel comfortable then that’s what we’ll do.

“Fine I guess. Better than feeling like I’m about to burst from running like earlier.”

“I am sorry about startling you earlier.” Her face scrunched up in concern at the reminder.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, that’s what I get from not running in so long.”

“What were you running for?”

I blinked. Surely this _was_ a dream. Lily Evans was curious about something I did. What kind of alternate universe did I fall into? “I’m preparing for Quidditch.”

Lily looked surprised. “James, it’s only the beginning of July. Quidditch matches don’t start until October. What could you possibly be preparing for?”

“Well I’m not sure if you’ve ever played sports before, but trust me when I say this, if I don’t condition now then it’ll be worse for me in the long run come October.” Her eyebrows came together in confusion. “Okay, let’s put it this way. I have to study for Quidditch now because if I don’t, I won’t be prepared come the first exam. It’s important that I pass that first exam and any exam after that. Especially if I want the top grade in the class for Gryffindor.”

“The top grade being the Quidditch Cup?” Her expression looked thoughtful. “That makes sense. I guess now I know why you take it so seriously, especially if you’re anything like me and grades for Quidditch.” She nodded and I chuckled about how serious she looked. Lily amazed me sometimes.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh!” She jumped in her seat and looked sheepish at remembering why she came here. “Well… I was wondering if you know what’s wrong with Marlene.”

“Mar?” I tried to think about everything that happened since the party. It occurred to me that I haven’t actually seen Marlene since the party. In fact, I didn’t even get anything from her tiny tawny owl. We decided when we were younger that the only time to use our owls was for school since we lived within walking distance of each other. I was under the impression that if any one of us weren’t okay we would at least let the other one know. I felt a sense of uneasiness wash over me. There was hardly a day that went by when she didn’t make an appearance at my house but she hadn’t come at all.

“I was wondering if you happened to know anything. She’s not… been herself. I figured she would’ve confided in you if something because I’m at a loss of what to do.”

I shook my head. “No. Actually, I haven’t seen her since the party. Is everything okay?” _Potter you’re an idiot. Of course nothing is okay if_ Lily _is coming to you for your help._

Lily hesitated. She bit her lip. I could tell she was debating on whether it was okay to breach whatever unspoken girl code there was about sharing details. “I don’t think so.”

“Well, what do Alice and Frank think?”

“At first they thought I was overanalyzing something that wasn’t even there but now I think they believe me. She’s been moody all week. She hasn’t done anything with us since the party. In fact, we went to a couple days ago to muggle London and she wanted nothing to do with it. She’s been sad and looks like she’ll burst into tears at any moment. She also looks like she's ready to claw off our faces because anything makes her angry now too.”

“Wait. We’re talking about Marlene McKinnon right?” I asked incredulously.

“I know. I thought any one of us could break her out of this but nothing has worked so far. I figured she must’ve talked to you about something but she hasn’t even come to _see_ you. Whatever this is it must be bad.”

I soaked this in. Marlene almost crying? Being angry at Lily and Alice? Mar could be emotional when she wanted to be, but she definitely wasn’t for no reason. Clearly something was bothering her. It felt like something was gnawing at my stomach at the fact Mar didn’t come to me about this. I knew she had the girls but she always came to me if something was bothering her and I hated that for once I was in the dark. I knew there was things that we kept things from each other for our own reasons but that still didn’t mean I liked it.

“Do you think Remus would know?”

“Hm?” I looked up at her from my distracted thoughts.

“Would Remus know why she’s sad? I mean, I can only imagine he would since that they, well, you know… And he helped her home afterwards.”

“They cuddled. Quite passionately too from Marlene’s end. You can say it.” I teased. She blushed which made me chuckle.

Suddenly what Lily asked processed through my head and it clicked. I immediately stood up and started to pace. Lily’s eyes widened and as she watched me walk around my room. It all made sense. Remus was acting weird earlier when he came back from his home. Marlene has been acting weird all week. The two issues were connected. I wasn’t sure how much so but I would be surprised if they weren’t. In fact, I’d bet my whole inheritance on it. Except Marlene wasn’t that type of person. Sure she liked all the romance stuff like any other girl but she always swore up and down when we were little that she was more capable of any boy to hurt her feelings. Remus wasn’t _just_ any boy because we all hung out together loads of times. They were friends, have been for years, or at least that's what they both claimed. They were complete opposites in every way: Marlene was loud, confident and extremely athletic while Remus tended to be quiet, reserved and more studious. If they didn't like each other then they hid it extremely well.

“I think… I know why.” I said as I continued to pace.

“Can you at least sit down and tell me? Watching you move so much is making my head hurt.”

“Did I hear Lily Evans _whine?_ Someone needs to alert the Ministry because you’re not actually Lily. The real Lily Evans wouldn’t do that.” I sat back down on my bed for her benefit but I wish I hadn’t. My body felt weird like it was buzzing on adrenaline that needed to be used on doing something, not sitting.

“Ha.” She rolled her eyes and tried to glare at me but she wasn’t successful. Her scowl was twitching on the edges so I knew that she wasn’t mad. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“If it’s stupid tell me. Remus came back this morning but… he wasn’t the same.”

“What do you mean? Is his mum okay?”

I hesitated because I almost revealed that his mum wasn’t the problem that always plagued Remus. I knew Lily would understand but there was that fear deep down that she’d be like all the others who held a prejudice against werewolves. Not only that but I made that promise to never tell. "He didn’t say anything that led us to believe she’s not. No, he was… Sad but also scared in an unusual way. Which is saying something considering he cracked a joke at Sirius not too long after coming in.”

“He _did?_ ” asked Lily incredulously. I nodded. Remus’s serious mood wasn’t something that went unnoticed to anyone at Hogwarts. No one could ever understand why at eleven years old Remus was practically fifty. It didn’t help that in the early years he was pessimistic at everything like someone pissed in his pumpkin juice every day. Once he revealed the ‘truth’ to why he was this way, everyone backed off. Someone having a mum who got sick often was enough for everyone to understand why Remus was the way he was. The only unfortunate part of it all was that it wasn’t even damn close to the real truth.

“Yeah. There was this vibe that he was holding something back like he was guarded. Plus he’s been gone since Sunday. If you ask me, the timeline is a little too similar for it to be a coincidence.”

“So Remus could be the reason Marlene is so upset?” Honestly, I was as surprised as Lily sounded when asking this.

“And vice versa.”

“But…” I could tell that this blew Lily’s mind. Somehow it was enough for her to not be able to process it all. It was cute to see how her face was scrunched up in confusion. Her face scrunched up brought out all the little freckles on her nose and cheeks. There were dozens of them. I wanted the opportunity to touch and kiss them all. _Potter get a fucking grip. You’re going to torture yourself if you keep doing this to yourself. You’re_ friends _._

I immediately stood up which caused Lily to jump. “I think… And bear with me on this… I have a theory about what he did. He must’ve told Marlene something and she somehow remembered it after all that alcohol. That’s the only thing that can make sense to explain why they’re acting this way.”

“Wait, what could Remus have said that could make Marlene, of all people, act this way? I thought they were friends or at least close because of her friendship with you.” I growled in frustration. The one time Lily Evans didn’t get something was the situation about two of our best friends. Why couldn’t it have been one of Slughorn’s assigned potions or Merryweather’s complex essays?

“Yeah the prick does. He likes her – or at least that’s what he’s always told me. I know he hates it when her and Padfoot fight or talk non-stop about Quidditch. Especially when he needs to be studying. There could be a million things he could’ve said to her. It explains why he looked at me like he was about to wet himself this morning. I’m sure he’s terrified that I’d beat the shit out of him.” I had to grip one of the posts on my bed so I wouldn’t actually run down the stairs and interrogate the living hell out of him.

“But Remus is one of the best people we know! He’s smart and caring. He’s so sweet.”

I had to squeeze the post to make the flush of jealousy coursing through me go away. That was not what I needed to be focused on right now. I hated the fact that Lily thought Remus was all those things. “Yeah I’m aware.”

“This doesn’t make sense though. What could Remus say to Marlene to hurt her feelings? Why would Marlene not talk to either of us about it?” I shrugged while she threw up her hands in frustration. I could tell by the way Lily was scowling that she hated this situation as much as I did. What I couldn’t tell was if she was more upset about not knowing a single thing for once or at the fact her two friends had secrets we couldn’t crack. I’m sure both aspects fueled her thoughts at trying to solve this shit show of a mystery.

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve tried for years to get Mar to admit her feelings even over the little things that don’t matter. Don’t get me started on getting Remus to open up about his feelings too. I’ve known him for years and I just got to the point where he’ll talk to me about girls, don't also get me started on _looking_ at girls or considering to date them at my suggestion. We’re fucked either way”

“James Potter the matchmaker?” Lily fell into a fit on giggles. “That doesn’t seem like something you would even do.”

“We’ve already had the conversation of where we established how you didn’t know me as well as you thought you did.” Lily flinched at that. “But yeah, someone had to do it otherwise we’d still be in phase one which is talking about no feelings at all. Matchmaking for Remus has become a specialty of mine lately in the past year.”

Lily sat up in my desk chair abruptly. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and a huge grin spread across her face. “Why don’t we do it?”

“What?” My heart started to beat faster.

“Why don’t _we_ play situational matchmakers? Matchmakers always do things in secret where they try to set people up. What if we make Remus and Marlene confront whatever it is they’re dealing with so they’re forced to at least acknowledge what’s wrong? I doubt Remus or Marlene will talk to each other alone so why not get them together ourselves so they can talk with us?”

I looked at her incredulously. “You do realize that this probably won’t work right?”

Lily rolled her eyes and waved her hand as if dismissing the idea. “Of course, it will. We have to make sure what we’re doing forces them to be together without any opportunities to escape. It’ll work! Plus you’ve said it’s a specialty of yours! Granted, it’s not for romance but you said you do specialize in it.”

“I don’t know…” I said but then immediately regretted it. I have never wanted to die as much as the moment of watching Lily pout. It was the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and it completely made me feel things I shouldn’t. “ _Fuck_. Fine, I’ll do it. But if it blows up in our faces, it’s all on you Evans.”

Lily squealed and hugged me. She pulled back and started talking enthusiastically. I didn’t catch a single word she said. All that I could think was the word _friends._ As much as I tried I couldn’t ignore how that left a hollow feeling in my stomach _._

-

“Why are we doing this again? Are you trying to make me look bad by wanting me to sweat?”

I rolled me eyes. “Padfoot, I swear to Merlin if you complain one more time I will push you into the canal we’re going to. I don’t see why you’re complaining anyway. The girls are coming. This is your chance to show off or do something stupid.”

“The girls are coming? Why didn’t you say so! Prongsie, did you do this for me?! You’re the best friend a man could ask for!” whooped Sirius.

“Am I interrupting any romantic declarations?” snickered Remus. Sirius shoved him and soon the shoving became more physical.

I shook my head while making sure the portkey, a walking stick, didn’t fall over. I prayed that the girls would show up soon so we could get this over with. It was a miracle that this whole thing even came together and both parties agreed to this. Lily tried to do something in the city but she was thinking too small. Going to the city would open so many opportunities for us to split up. The whole point was to make sure Marlene and Remus had the chance to spend time together with the end goal of being driven to share their issues. Lily’s plan was flawed at best. It doesn’t help that Marlene is already as stubborn as a fucking hippogriff. Remus has tried to avoid the whole situation – mostly me so we couldn’t be alone – as if it never happened. I said that we were going to walk a path near Cromford. The village had a quite a bit of Muggle population so at least Marlene wouldn’t hex Remus’s bits off if this ended up going badly. I don’t know how long it took Lily to convince Mar to come on this trip but I knew it was longer than necessary. I hoped that we all would make it back in one piece.

“WHOA!” I jumped and looked down. Remus was laughing so hard he was clutching his sides. Sirius’s face was bright red mixed with dirt on his face. “Anywhere but the face and hair, Moony. We’ve discussed this! You could ruin the goods!”

I heard a snort. I sighed with relief because the girls were finally here. Sirius shot off the ground when he noticed they were here. He pulled off a charming smile. The fact he was covered in dirt and grass grabbed at least Lily’s attention. She scrunched her face as Alice began to help dust him off with Frank’s help. It was amazing how Sirius transformed into a helpless puppy when Alice was around. He would kill me if I ever told anyone he once called her mum to her face. It was hard to ignore to see how much he cared for Alice under his layer of git-ness because of the lengths she went to look out for him. It was amazing to me how Alice didn’t have a clue or at least acted like she didn’t. I made a mental note for a later mission to find out how that friendship started. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frank held out his hand to help Remus up. They started talking about something while Remus tried to look presentable. He looked wild and disarrayed like he walked through a storm before coming here. Lily watched both scenes in front of her then searched around. When her eyes found me, she gave me a look that said ‘we need to talk.’ Judging by how Marlene was standing there trying to not look like she was about to rip anyone’s head off for being here, it was obvious what that conversation was going to be about.

I began to think why we thought this was a good idea. Or more importantly, why I let Lily talk me into thinking this was a good idea.

 _You only agreed because Lily wanted to do something with_ you _. You also couldn’t resist her pouting because you don’t have a brave bone in your body to say no. Some Gryffindor you are, you prat._

Oh right. That’s why.

I groaned when Marlene said a cold greeting to everyone in the group when she finally decided to speak to us. This was going to be a _long_ day. I hoped we could survive it in one piece.

-

**10:17am**

What in the entire _fuck_ were Lily and I thinking?

When she planned this, Lily convinced me to see why this ended up being such a good idea. It would be a nice walk on a popular path a lot of Muggle tourists go on. We would walk near some nice scenery in the countryside and a canal that was historic according to Lily’s research and from her relatives. We would walk for a while to make sure everyone was okay and getting along. When we thought that Marlene and Remus were better, Lily would suggest we apparate to Matlock to go eat so we could split and talk to them separately to get them to be open about their feelings. It was a simple proof type of plan. It was brilliant – the fact Lily had something to do with it said it all. It was the type of plan that I would think there would be no way for it to get ruined because it was so simple with how Lily planned this day.

Unfortunately, we underestimated Marlene in her abilities to ruin anything we planned. In fact, she ended up doing the exact opposite of what we expected her to do. She was also acting as if we weren’t all aware of everything happening right in front of us. Lily and I thought we knew what was going on with Marlene. Remus seemed to be fine with everything going on, even going as far as reaching out to Marlene and speaking with her. She warmed up to him as time in our walking went on and now she acted like she was his best mate. It seemed to be… Remus and Marlene were friends and unaffected by whatever unspoken thing happened earlier this week. Marlene acted like Remus was never her problem at all. The real surprise to everyone was Marlene seemed to have the real struggle with Sirius.

My theory about _Remus_ being the one hurting her feelings by something he said went straight into the garbage when it became clear Marlene wasn’t going to hex _his_ balls off. Lily kept giving me looks because even she had no idea what was going on with the new dynamic happening in the group. I could tell she was getting flustered by not understanding the situation. Marlene treated Sirius as if he was the issue of her problems in life because she knew she could get away with it as long as Sirius would let her. She had no choice but to sometimes speak with him but only cryptically and in a matter-of-fact tone. Her preferred method was through sly remarks and digs when she could get them in. Marlene regarded all attempts in conversations and joking around as if they didn’t impress her. She didn’t try to talk with Sirius by making sure to never being near him in the path but was fine chatting with anyone else.

Marlene didn’t hide the fact she ignored all his chances at trying to be usual Sirius self – which was his overly-flirtatious and talkative – and she was giving him _nothing_ to work with. Normally he wouldn’t care if anyone ignored him but I could tell that Mar’s attempts at being distant and cold were wearing on his patience. The only good thing was there wasn’t many times where Padfoot could talk to Marlene by herself. Alice tried her hardest to be subtle about scolding her but Mar ignored that too. The peak of all this was when I about lost it when she started not so subtly flirt with Remus and Frank. Marlene. Flirting. With Remus and _Frank_. As if nothing was fucking sacred or even _normal_ any more in this goddamn countryside. She did it with confidence as if she had no sense of awareness of what she was doing. Sirius was beginning to look more dejected and confused as time went on since his normal verbal-sparring buddy wouldn’t give him the time of day. Alice looked like she was going to push Marlene into the canal. It was only 10:33 in the morning according to Lily’s muggle watch and I already had to fight the urge to help Alice with the canal idea.

Send help.

-

**11:02am**

If I didn’t have any grey hair before this trip then I had some now. Was this how McGonagall felt with us? Because if so dear old Minnie was going to get a bouquet of her favorite sweets when we get back. Courtesy of James Potter. This was maddening.

The only thing that helped this situation was the fact Lily chose to walk beside me. She made that declaration not long after we found the walking path. Sirius smirked at me as if he was proving a point. He was convinced that when we had our private conversation in my room the other day about how there wasn’t any _talking_ going on if I caught his meaning. He was being a prat but it didn’t help that I felt my face heating up each time Sirius kept looking back at us. It was like he wanted me to help Marlene commit murder and leave his body in the countryside.

I peeked at Lily out of the corner of my eye. She was glaring at Marlene the way she used to look at me when I would hex Snape. It was good to know that look wasn’t reserved for me. I could tell that I wasn’t the only one considering murder to be an option on this trip. I knew I should’ve been focusing on the problem at hand but I was incredibly distracted by her. She went casual for the trip and had her hair up in a ponytail. I had to keep pinching myself every time an old fantasy of kissing that spot nestled under jaw kept popping up in my head. I s _houldn’t_ be fantasizing about it but I was anyway. I knew I was failing at thinking Lily as my friend but it was really hard when she was damn near perfect. It didn’t help that I could tell Marlene’s actions upset her more than she let on. I could tell that her plan wasn’t working but our original theories weren’t even close to being correct.

I knew Lily pretty well and I knew that she hated to fail at anything. Especially at something simple as playing situational matchmaker or whatever it was she called this adventure. I had this overwhelming urge to protect her from feeling this way. I didn’t need to be reminded about she felt about being saved.

The sun came out shining which helped me stop thinking about Lily. It was moments like these I hated wearing glasses. Everything was now too bright. I couldn’t see a thing. If only that applied to my hearing as well but no such luck. I knew that if I had to squint the rest of this walk then I would get a headache. Considering my murderous thoughts earlier a headache was the last thing I needed on this trip. If I was going to make it through I had to concentrate on not tripping on anything. My vision became darkened before my eyes. It was dark like it was nighttime but the sun was still out. Everything was a different color. A flurry of panic surged through me. Did I squint too hard to cause this?

“Is that better?” I jumped and peered down to the little redhead beside me who was looking at me nervously. “I saw you squinting so I made your glasses into sunglasses. They’re a muggle invention to help with sunlight getting in your eyes. I hope that was okay.”

My mouth dropped open with a quiet pop. I recovered and nodded. I prayed that she didn’t notice that my face was bright red. “Thanks. I never thought about doing that before.”

Marlene’s over flirtatious laugh was heard in front of us. “Ugh. That is _disgusting_.”

I snorted. “I guess we should’ve figured that Marlene would ruin this bloody brilliant plan we created.”

“But it was foolproof to work!” she said as she threw up her hands. I could tell she was exasperated and getting close to the end of her patience.

“Don’t worry. We still have time.” I tried to say that with confidence but even I wasn’t convinced. I knew what Marlene was doing. Growing up with her had its perks but it also was the biggest pain in my ass right now.

“I’m at a loss of what to do.” My stomach dropped at the sight of seeing Lily so defeated. Granted her plan was brilliant and she had it all planned out for any possibility playing out. Lily even knew what to do for a chance of a full-blown fight happening, should it have happened. I knew that she desperately wanted it to work. I knew I wasn’t the only one who wanted Marlene and whoever she was having issues with at the moment to work it out.

There was slow rumble in my chest. It was one thing to be a brat and making everyone miserable as a result but now Mar went too far. I knew what I had to do. I prayed that Lily would understand when it all came down to it.

-

**12:06pm**

“OW!” Marlene shrieked as I thrusted her over near a tree. “Do that one more time and I swear to Merlin’s beard you’ll be dead Potter.”

I managed to cast a silencing charm around us before I answered her. The rest of the group didn’t need to hear this. “Not if I fucking kill you first. What the hell are you doing?” I demanded.

“ _I_ was having a nice time. _I_ was having a nice chat with Remus, Alice and Frank. Now I’m talking with an arrogant toerag who doesn’t understand personal space.” She spat back at me.

“Don’t play games with me, Marlene. I am not in the mood. I know what you’re doing and it’s a piece of shit move.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Now move out of the way so we can get this damn walk over with.”

I grabbed her arm and dragged her around the tree to gain a little more privacy. Any other moment I would’ve upset at the mere thought of throwing Marlene around like this. Her being bratty was pushing me over the edge. I let go of her but I made sure she had no ways of escaping. “No. We’re going to talk about this because everyone's tired of your attitude.”

“ _My attitude?”_ squeaked Marlene. Her face was turning dark red. Her body started to shake with how angry she was.

“I didn’t fucking stutter. You’re ruining this trip and making everyone uncomfortable.”

“I am not-”

“Yes you are. Everyone’s too nice to say it but me. Flirting with Remus? _Frank_? Really Marlene? Is that what it’s come down to?”

“He’s attractive. A lot of bints at Hogwarts know that. I’m not oblivious to it. I didn’t realize flirting with him was such a crime worthy of Azkaban.” She sniffed.

“So fuck the fact you’re making everyone miserable? Or treating Sirius like absolute shit in the process?” I growled.

Marlene’s face softened for a fraction of a second. Something flashed across her eyes. I knew that she hadn’t thought through her actions which was typical Marlene. She was taught to be a good pureblood girl and not show her emotions outwardly but her Gryffindor side pushed her to be passionate. Why wasn’t I surprised? She thought she knew what she was doing but she clearly didn’t think. “Well I hadn’t-”

“You didn’t think about it all the way through, did you? The consequences of the shit show you’re pulling on everyone today are massive by the way since you’re not aware. You’ve been making _everyone_ miserable. Everyone is at the end of their patience with you. Which is saying something because I’ve never seen her break. I’m pretty sure you’ve driven a wedge between Alice and Frank. Now they’re acting weird and not saying much around each other because I’m sure this is awkward for them. God, Marlene. People _have_ feelings you know. You fucked up any chances of our groups coming together to ever work out because you had to make things weird by flirting with Remus. And what the fuck about flirting with Frank fucking Longbottom? Does the fact he’s been with Alice for what seems like forever mean _nothing_ to you? Lily is downright miserable. You’ve ruined the trip she planned where she hoped everyone would have fun. I think you already know how I fucking feel about all this. All for what? Over something you couldn’t talk to me or Lily about? Because Remus or Sirius or Alice or Frnak said something to hurt your feelings?”

“It’s not that simple! You don’t understand!” exclaimed Marlene as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Yes. Actually, it is that simple. You don’t want it to be. You’re too upset to even think about the fact you’re hurting everyone’s feelings. Did it _ever_ occur to you that maybe every single person out there would help you if you went to one of us and told us you’re struggling with something? That we’d listen and do anything as best as we could? That you’re one of us? Well, you’re proving to us right now that you don’t give a damn so you know. You’re proving that we’d go extra for you but the minute you get mad, you’d ruin anything we all had as friends.”

“But I-”

“Save it! I don’t want to hear a damn thing you have to say. Honestly what did you think you could do today? Prove that you’re better off dealing with your problems by yourself? All you’ve proven today is that you’re an unfeeling prat who doesn’t think about what she’s doing. You’ve acted like you don’t care about anyone’s feelings but your own. We’ve all tried to get through it today but you’ve pushed it too far. Especially with Alice and Frank.”

“I’m sorry!”

“I’m not the any one of the persons you need to be apologizing to. You need to apologize to Sirius. I’m sure he’s flipping his shit thinking about what he did and if he needs to protect himself during Quidditch this year. You need to apologize to Alice because what you did was a shit move. Alice would have _never_ done that to you with any guy of yours. You need to apologize to Lily because she worked really hard for us to have fun on this trip. Now she’s upset because she wanted us to hang out because of that stupid list of activities you wanted everyone to do. She feels like an absolute failure. You and I both know how she hates failing anything. You need to apologize to everyone. And mean it.”

Streaks covered Marlene’s face. Her face paled as I brought all her offenses out for her to realize what she’s done. She had to grip the tree for balance so she didn’t fall over from shaking so bad. “James I-”

“No Marlene. Out of anyone today you’ve hurt me the most. The person who thought we were friends. I have never had anything but good things to say about you. I’d go to the ends of the earth if that meant making you happy because you’re the closest to a sister I’ve ever had. I asked you to help me with being friends with Lily. All you’ve done to repay me is chew me up, spit me on the ground, stomp on me and then set me on fire so there’s nothing left. I know we may have our moments but I always did things because I thought that was what was _best for you_. Quite honestly I deserve a better teammate and a better friend than you if you’re going to act this way.”

Marlene’s scrunched up in pain. “I know.”

“Damn right you should know. You should know that I believed in you being the person to bring everyone together but I’m not sure anymore. Now I don’t know how the fuck this day can be saved but that is not my problem. This is the fucking mess you made now it’s your job to clean it up. I don’t know how you’re going to do it but you’re going to fix it. Apologize to everyone or I swear to you I will make your life a living hell. Honestly Marlene… I’m disappointed by the whole situation. But I’m disappointed in you.”

I huffed out a long exhale. With nothing left to say, I turned around and walked away.

-

**2:58pm**

There was nothing more fascinating in this world than watching Sirius pile food in his mouth. We weren’t home for two hours before he somehow convinced Izzy to make him food. Poor little house elf has a massive crush on him so of course Izzy went all out. It didn’t seem to matter that she was serving dinner in the matter of hours to either of them. How the hell he could still stuff his face after the day we had was beyond me.

After I confronted Marlene earlier, things were a little awkward. I was fine but no one could ignore Marlene’s tear streaked face. Even though they didn’t hear a single word that was said they didn’t have to guess what had happened. We continued walking for a while afterwards. I struck up a conversation with Frank about the Auror training program at the Ministry. The biggest blessing was Sirius and Lily knew so much about said program so it didn’t take long for the tension to dissolve. We all decided that we needed to go to Matlock to eat. Sirius got a kick out of the fact Lily found a pub called the Red Lion. He wouldn’t shut up about how ironic it was. I’m sure he has bruises on his shins from everybody to last him a lifetime. It still didn’t stop him from being an annoying git though.

I knew Lily didn’t approve of whatever method I used on Marlene since I made her cry. I wish I could say that I regret what I did but she needed to hear it. Lily’s disapproval of not only what had led up to now and Marlene’s tears was coming off in waves. Lily looked like she wanted to rip off my head when I told Marlene couldn’t enter the pub without apologizing to at least _one_ person. Lily softened up a bit when Marlene decided her first apology was to her. Marlene even cried for the whole thing to work in her favor. When she asked what I did to her all I said was that I told Marlene she had to apologize for ruining everyone’s day by acting childish. Lily kept looking at me weird after that confession. It was almost like she was seeing me for the first time.

I winced when Sirius slurped something loudly. “Why Padfoot? Just why?”

“‘M humgry.” He said with his mouth full. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wondered if Sirius was more dog when he got like this.

“We literally _just_ ate. How can you still have room in your stomach?”

“I’m sorry that your body isn’t as perfect as mine. My body is a temple and needs to be treated as such.”

“Oh my god. Why the hell am I friends with you?”

“Because no one else will put with an arse like you.” He caught the biscuit I threw at him in his mouth. He smirked as he took a bite out of it. “Where’s Moony?”

“Mar’s talking to him.”

Sirius’s smirk slid off his face. Instead he was scowling. I could tell by the look on his face that he was thinking about everything that happened today. “Are we going to talk about what happened today?”

I shrugged. “What is there to say? She was being a fucking brat and acted out on everybody. Mac gets that way sometimes. It’s annoying but you learn to live with it.”

“Prongs. She _flirted_ with Remus.” said Sirius.

“Don’t worry. I already talked to her about it.” I cleared my throat and deciding to change the topic. “Are you a little mad it wasn’t you that she flirted with?”

He glared at me. “I’ll have you know that women falling at their feet for me is a normal thing that happens every day.”

“Only in your dreams, Paddy.” I ducked when he tried to hit me with a biscuit. “You better practice your aim because come Quidditch season I’m going to whip your ass into shape. You’ll wish that you were training with me.”

“Hm, have the opportunity to do what I want like sleep in, hang out with Mar and Remus who are actually sane or condition. I can’t see why I’m not taking you up on that offer, mate. Also _don’t_ call me Paddy.”

“Doesn’t look like there’s not much opportunity anymore to hang out with them together.”

“Don’t fucking remind me.” Sirius started to violently stab whatever mess was on his plate. There was a couple seconds of silence before he continued. “Please tell me that she’s not into Remus. I swear to god I will stop styling my hair if she’s the one that likes Remus. He needs someone not so high maintenance or annoying.”

I snorted. “The day you stop styling that mop you call hair is the day hell freezes over. But you have nothing to worry about. My theory was Moony said something to her and it made her upset so she took it out on everyone.”

Sirius gagged on the juice he was drinking. Once he recovered his eyes were huge. “What the hell? When did Moony do this?”

“I have no idea. I’m guessing something happened at that party she had at her house.”

“I thought they were friends.” His eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he scowled.

“You know how Remus gets around people. Thinks he’s a monster. Extremely unlovable. Thinks he’ll hurt this new person in some way or another. The normal things he thinks about himself. Ends up saying or doing something that makes everything awkward and breaks off the friendship.” I said. My hand curled into a fist at being reminded of the dark thoughts Remus got into. Knowing how far those words led him made me angry. After everything today it strengthened how I felt he didn’t deserve to think about himself that way.

“But he looked like he drank five bottles of firewhiskey after that party and how he enjoyed himself. Pretty sure he’s had fantasies about socializing with people.”

“Sirius, don’t ask me to explain it. I would like to act like today never happened.” I said as I gripped the bridge of my nose. I was beginning to get a headache at the mere mention of all the shit that happened today.

“You don’t have to fucking tell me twice.” He said as he stuffed what looked like a massacred sausage in his mouth.

“Are you serious?”

“Mate, do you need to go to St. Mungo’s instead? You know I’m Sirius.”

I groaned. “You know that wasn’t funny when we were twelve so it’s not going to be funny now, right?”

“You kidding me?! I’m _hilarious._ ” He scowled at me.

“That must be why McGonagall laughs every time you crack a joke.”

“That old bat Minnie? She doesn’t have a sense of humor!”

“Hey, don’t insult her. She might sense it and not make me Captain.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked at me pointedly. “James, I swear to Merlin if you don’t shut up about being Caption I’m going to shove your broom up your arse so far you’ll go blind.”

“Gee, Sirius. Your pretty words make me melt. I should get that stitched on a pillow.”

“Bet you can makes loads off all the shit I say.”

I was going to make a retort when a tapping sound prevented me from doing so. I perked up when I looked up to see an owl carrying many letters with him. I got up and took the letters from the bird. Sirius threw a fit when I stole the last biscuit to give to the bird for bringing us all the letters.

“You wasted a perfectly good biscuit.” He whined as the bird munched on it.

“Heaven forbid that you don’t eat.” I muttered. I untied the string that held all the letters together. Sirius’s letter was on top and I threw it at him. He groaned when he saw that it was from Hogwarts. It was as if we weren’t going back to school in a month and a half hadn’t occurred to him. Mine was next and I laid it down. Remus’s was last but there was a second letter under his. It was thick and felt as if something was inside it.

I grinned when I realized what it was. “Guess what, Paddy?”

“I’m going to guess that I’m going to beat you with my Beater’s club for calling me Paddy.”

“Nope. Guess which Marauder is Head Boy?” I held up the top letter which was addressed to Remus. I sat down both letters, not bothering to even read the bottom one, since they were both meant for Remus to open later.

“What in the ass?! No way! Do you know what this means?! We can do much shit with this.” Sirius grinned mischievously. I could feel my grin spreading on my face. This was a good development for the Marauders. We had the advantage when it came to pulling pranks. While Remus couldn’t be involved in any sort of way anymore, he could at least stick up for us. I could only imagine how the Marauders will take over the Head Boy and Girl’s dorms next year.

My grin went away at the mere thought of who Remus will be sharing the position with. “I… don’t know about that.”

“You’re right. I doubt Moony will want to help.”

“I don’t think I will either.” I knew he was staring at me like I grew a second head. I nervously started to clean my glasses so I couldn’t look at him.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I mean Lily will probably be Head Girl. I doubt she’ll let us get away with anything.” I said quickly. The thought of pulling a prank at the possibility of losing her friendship terrified me.

“Evans is such a mood killer.” He grumbled. Before I could answer the back door opened to reveal a happy looking Remus.

“Hey mates.” He said cheerfully. We both stared at him.

“Okay who are you and what the hell did you do with Remus Lupin?” Sirius whipped out his wand dramatically. “Give him back you imposter!”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I am Remus you prat. Put that away before you hurt yourself.”

“There he is! That’s the strict Remus we’ve come to know and love.” exclaimed Sirius. Remus shot him a withering look. I snickered.

“How was your talk with Marlene?” I asked. I hoped that by the way he was looking that the talk went well. I wasn’t looking forward to kicking her ass later.

Remus brightened up at that. “It went well. I figured from earlier that she had something against me considering… everything that happened. I mean, we weren’t close exactly before all this happened? We talked through some stuff and I think we’re okay.”

“You don’t need to defend her when she acts that way.” I said.

“I know.” Remus sighed. “It was her defense mechanism. I think something happened which she misunderstood because of the alcohol from the party and she took it out on everyone. I’m not saying she was in the right but I understand why she did it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned no matter the friend or foe.”

“I can only imagine what she’ll act like when you do something now that you’re _friends_ , Moony. I know you’re a werewolf but she’ll rip you to shreds.” Sirius shook his head.

Remus’s face turned bright red at what Sirius said. “I can handle one more friend. I tolerate you lot every single day.”

“Well if you can’t let me know. I got through to her today. But thanks man. This day went a little rough.”

“I’m not sure driving her to tears is the right method. Plus, I’m sure we can solve our problems as adults through calm communication. Besides, Marlene McKinnon isn’t a bad friend to have considering everything we know about her.” It warmed my insides to see Remus glowing with happiness at the cause of friendship. I never thought he was capable of such emotion but it was refreshing to see.

“If you need any girl advice you know who to call.”

“How is it that you know how to kill the mood, Padfoot?” I scolded.

“I can assure you that I’m more than capable of keeping the mood going. If you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. I shoved him hard enough to make him fall out of his chair. He landed on the floor and his yelp was music to my ears. Remus was shaking from laughing so hard. Sirius glared at me while he sat back down. “You’ll pay for that later.”

“I have no idea what you could mean.” I batted my eyelashes at him innocently which made Remus laugh harder.

“Give Remus his damn letters.” growled Sirius. I grinned triumphantly at my win. I grabbed both letters and gave them to Remus. He took them with wide eyes.

“Is it time for these already? Can you believe this is our last one?” asked Remus wistfully.

“I swear to god if you start crying on me Moony I will lock myself away. Are you going to let the women population suffer because of your sensitivity?” whined Sirius.

“They’re already suffering of your insensitivity.” I muttered.

“Watch it Jamie. You’re already on my list.” He threatened. He whipped to face Remus with a smirk on his face. “Actually, put on your Head Boy badge and give him detention!”

Remus’s eyes went as wide as the moon. “What?”

“Way to go, Paddy.”

“Shit. Sorry. That second letter has the Head Boy badge and it’s yours! Now punish Prongs.” You could’ve sworn that Sirius looked like a proud parent then.

Remus’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He took off the first letter. His face was unreadable for a second before he had a gleeful grin on his face. He looked up at us with his eyes sparkling like he heard a joke. “The Head Boy position isn’t for me.”

Sirius groaned. “Are you kidding me? After everything that happened today? You’ve successfully made another friend today! You’re the perfect person for Head Boy. Remus if I hear you doubt yourself one more time I’m going to sit on you.”

“Oh, I’m not doubting myself. Unless my name changed to James Potter without my knowledge then this letter isn’t addressed to me.” He was smirking as he set the second letter on the table for us to see. Sure enough in dark black letters, the letter was addressed to _me_ and not Remus. It was like the world washed away around me as I processed this. This had to be a joke. Me over Remus? There was no way this was happening. I kept staring at it thinking it would disappear but as the seconds passed nothing happened.

“Are you going to open it or do I have to do it?” Sirius demanded.

I slowly reached for it and stared at it in my hands. The letters didn’t change. It was still addressed to James Potter. I could feel a lump in my throat. It took some time to open the letter since my hands were shaking but I finally got it open. Out tumbled with a soft _clink_ on the table was the Head Boy badge. It sparkled in the kitchen light. I immediately tore open the envelope to shreds by opening the letter.

_Dear Mr. J. Potter,_

_I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen for the position of Head Boy. I am sure you have many questions about why you were chosen. I can assure you that you being chosen as Head Boy was no mistake as this was Headmaster Dumbledore’s decision. You and the Head Girl must report to the prefect's compartment at 11:30am on the Sept. 1 ride back to school. You will gain your instructions about beginning of school details._

_Best regards,_

_Professor McGonagall_

_P.S.: On top of earning your Head Boy position, I must congratulate you on being appointed Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. I trust that you will not let me down as I much like having the trophy in Gryffindor’s name – especially in my office._

“Wait can they do this? Don’t you have to be Prefect first? What the fucking hell is happening? Moony what is…?” Sirius talking soon drowned out as I stared at the letter before me. So many things were flying around in my head. Out of everything the only thing I could think about was the words _Head Girl_. I couldn’t help but picture a pretty redhead’s horrified reaction to hearing the news. First Head Boy, now Quidditch Captain.

I think I preferred having the label of situational matchmaker.


End file.
